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Crazy Capers, Dodgy Deals

by Chris Goy & Dave Ross



"Our youngsters loved performing it, and the audiences loved it, many coming back to watch it more than once as they were so impressed."

"From a Directorial point of view I have to say the show was very well written, and bearing in mind the tight rehearsal schedule we have - five days - it was very well put together. The songs went down very well too!"

Caroline Ryan, Director, Dengie Hopes And Dreams



It's 1971 and the "Class of 65" are gathering at a seaside resort for a reunion weekend.

Frankie 'the fingers' Fuller and his intellectually challenged sidekick John 'Duggs' McGee book into the Grand Hotel with the sole intention of tunnelling through to the bank next door. Having asked for Room 1 or 2, their first disappointment is to find that Reception have misheard their request and they have been placed in Room 102 on the third floor instead. It gets worse when they discover that the school reunion party in the hotel that weekend is their old school !

'Nice guy' Tony meets up with his childhood flame Karen at the reunion, but he's now engaged to the 'social climber' Veronica. Timeshare salesman Vince is none too pleased to see his old adversary Tony again, but it's the last straw for Vince when they both turn up to the fancy dress party night dressed as Batman. The happy hippy couple Pearl and Dean do their best to keep the peace ('man'), but it's no easy task.Pearl and Dean

Frankie and Duggs switch their plan and are now tunnelling through to the Bank from the Ladies' loos. Unfortunately this means they have to spend half their time in drag, wearing clothes they have purloined from Janet and Jane, who coincidentally take a shine to Frankie and Duggs. Confusion sets in when they think that the 'slappers' are rivals for their affections towards the tunnelling twosome.

Maria, the dissatisfied chamber-maid helps Vince to make trouble between Tony and Veronica, but it all backfires when Karen and Tony end up not speaking to one another, and then take out their aggression in the Men vs Women hockey match that the school has arranged

Janet and Jane visit the Ladies while Frankie and Duggs are locked in a cubicle working on their tunnel. The girls think that the occupants are the two 'slappers' they met before and hilariously misinterpret the conversation they overhear. Veronica though hears our desperately digging duo as they discuss the bank robbery, and quickly ditches Tony to team up with Vince as they plan to cheat Frankie and Duggs out of the loot. In the 'blacked out' tunnel the four of them all collide in the darkness and then start negotiating a very dodgy deal to split the takings.

Tony is now free to be led by his heart, and (with a little help from Pearl and Dean) falls happily into the arms of Karen. The action concludes with the four conspirators being discovered early the next morning, having woken the other guests with their loud arguing. It's quickly dicovered that the loot is worthless anyway as it's all in pre-decimalisation notes that were stored in the bank for burning.

Is the ending a happy one ? Certainly. Frankie and Duggs are relieved to get out of the deal with the awful Veronica, Janet and Jane decide to reform the bungling burglars, Vince and Veronica plan their next money-making scheme, while Karen and Tony finally become a couple.


Principals (7m, 6f)
  Frankie 'the fingers' Fuller - sees himself as a master crimiinal, but he's just a common crook in a cheap suit.
  John 'Duggs' McGee - classic 'swag-bag' burglar, happy with his lot. Intellectually challenged.
  Tony - all round nice guy, well liked by everyone except Vince. Successful but modest, engaged to Veronica.
  Karen - all round nice girl, equally well liked by everyone. Shy but determined, she has fond memories of Tony from her schooldays.
  Veronica - engaged to Tony. A social climber. She knows what she wants and is ruthless enough to get it.  
  Vince - Medallion Man! Has a chip on his shoulder over Tony's success. Tries too hard at everything
  Janet - Man-hungry wallflower. Would love to be trendy, but just hasn't got the nerve
  Jane - Also a man-hungry wallflower. Inseperable from Janet and follows her lead in everything.
  Pearl - A hippy (female)
  Dean - A hippy (male)
  Mr Bently - the Hotel Manager
  Sam - the Hotel Waiter
  Maria - the Hotel Waitress
Support (4m, 4f, 7m/f)
  Sergeant Sharp - an incompetent policeman or woman
  Constable Perkins - another incompetent policeman or woman
  Constable Postelthwaite - another incompetent policeman or woman
  Flynn - referee at the hockey match
  Harriet, Sonia, Tracy, Julie - female hockey players & hotel guests
  Richard, Alan, Terry, James - male hockey players & hotel guests
  A pantomime horse (non-speaking role)
  A spaceman/woman (non-speaking role)
  The 'Class of 65' - as chorus (and dancers if required)


  1) Crazy Capers, Dodgy Deals Orchestra/Company
  2) Burglars' Bungle Frankie and Duggs
  3) Power To The Petals Pearl, Dean and Company
  4) Should I, Or Shouldn't I ? Tony and Karen
  5) Karen's Song Karen
~~ Interval ~~
  6) We Need Men! Janet and Jane
  7) Domestic Blues Mr. Bently, Sam and Maria
  8) Gonna Be Rich Vince and Veronica
  9) Swallows Returning In May Karen and Tony
10) Crazy Capers, Dodgy Deals Company
11) The Hockey Whack Thwack Company

Information for Production Administrators

Here's a list of all the supporting material available and some other information you might need. Pricing for the production materials is supplied automatically with a Perusal Set. Royalty pricing can only be provided as a formal quotation.

Available now (see below) ...
Preview Script/Libretto
You can download straightaway a shortened copy of the script to read and get a relatively good picture of whether you would like to proceed to the next step. The Preview E-Script is made available to you as a pdf file sized for A4 paper and contains just over half of the script/libretto.
Perusal Set
These are available for customers in European Union countries only to borrow free of charge (but you have to pay the postage to return the set to us). The set contains ...
  • Printed Script
  • Printed Piano/Vocal Score
  • Sampler Audio CD
Available after Perusal ...
Libretti/Vocal Scores

Available to purchase in this form ...

  • Rehearsal Master Set on a Data CD (Cast). This contains the script and piano vocal score for your cast and crew provided as A4 pdf files. No problem about possible loss of deposit, as they are yours to print out and mark up as required. The price includes a multiple copying licence allowing you to copy the Data CD itself (enabling you to give or sell copies to your cast for them to make up their own rehearsal books) or to make multiple prints of the pdf's on the Data CD for your production company to organise and provide to your cast or crew.

To order this, create an account with us, then go to the 'Ordering for Musicals' page

Please note that we do not sell individual printed copies of scripts, nor do we hire sets of printed rehearsal scripts or scores.

Available after Rights Obtained ...
Backing Tracks
For use in support of your rehearsal pianist, or during performances.
These are available for an 12 piece orchestra as below, for hire to production companies only, who hold a valid, unexpired, licence to perform.
  • Bass Guitar
  • Clarinet1
  • Clarinet 2
  • Flute
  • Alto Sax
  • Guitar
  • Keyboard / Piano
  • Trumpet
  • Trombone
  • Violin 1
  • Violin 2
  • Cello
  • MD's Full Score
Royalty Type
Royalties for this title are fixed fee, prior paid', and will be the same rate however many performances you give. See our pricing policy for details. We work on a quotation system for royalties, based on information you supply to us. Complete a printed application form or create account with us, and use the online version.
Video Licence
We have secured the rights to video productions of this title from the Author, and we manage them on his behalf. Once a 'Licence To Perform' has been granted, and then on payment of a fee, we will be able to issue a 'Licence To Record'. There are some strings attached to this, but these are far outweighed by the benefits.
  • Record one or more live performances and mix down to a single video
  • Give or sell copies to your cast and crew
  • Sell copies to your audiences (take advance bookings on the night)


Order your free preview script or perusal material now ...
  • Preview E-Script (Crazy Capers, Dodgy Deals) A4
    £0.00 Preview E-Script (Crazy Capers, Dodgy Deals) A4
    A free preview script containing a significant part of the full script and provided as a pdf file sized for A4 paper.
  • Perusal Set
    £0.00 Perusal Set
    PLEASE NOTE : We operate a FREE Perusal Service, but due to the cost of postage/shipping, we regret that Perusal Sets are ONLY available to customers who reside in the United Kingdom (inc Channel Islands and Isle Of Man)...
  • Rehearsal Master Set
    £0.00 Rehearsal Master Set
    Rehearsal Master Sets (RMS) are available to purchase, once your production has been licensed. You will need the 5 digit licence reference number (see above). They are available as Data CD's or (where available) on a USB...
  • Royalty Quotation Form
    £0.00 Royalty Quotation Form
    The rights to perform and record for all the titles in our catalogue (with exceptions) are managed by Stagescripts Ltd. A royalty fee must be paid: whether the play is presented for charity or for...
  • Backing Tracks (Rehearsal)
    £0.00 Backing Tracks (Rehearsal)
    Sets of Backing Tracks on: USB Stick with mp3 files, or Dropbox, mp3 file download (e-mailed link), or Audio CD (or 2 x Audio CD for some titles), or CD with mp3 files to use during rehearsals. The price will be...
  • Backing Tracks (Performance)
    £0.00 Backing Tracks (Performance)
    Sets of Backing Tracks on: USB Stick with mp3 files, or Dropbox, mp3 file download (e-mailed link) Audio CD (or 2 x Audio CD for some titles), or CD with mp3 files, or to use during performances (or rehearsals)...