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Comedy (H-P)

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He's Much To Blame

(6m, 4f, 1m/f) A play by Thomas Holcroft, part of our Regency Repertoire
Outside London, a young woman named Maria is looking for her long lost love. Staying in a bizarre hotel she encounters all stations of Georgian society, romantic rivals and dangerous enemies, as her search descends into a whirlwind story of disguises, hidden secrets, ancient grudges and current fancies. We are offered a cartoon-like glimpse of the great and grotesque of Georgian England - seeing fashion-mongers, time-servers, flatterers, the obscenely wealthy, the working poor, deceivers, idealists and even quack doctors.

Holiday At Home by Colin Barrow

(2m, 5f, 2m/f) A string of jewellery thefts close to the stately home of Lady Boucher has made her nervous about going on holiday, so her butler, Scribbins, helps to plan a 'holiday at home', and after their 'departure', they return secretly to Thrivington Hall for the fictitious week's holiday only to find that the Hall has been burgled. Are Alice and Felicity, two ladies of the village, and the Vicar involved? And what about Lizzie, the Hall's new maid with a strange CV? As the plot thickens, including the death of Alice, it becomes a puzzling problem with unexpected twists for Inspector Warwick to solve.

Comedy Play: 'Holiday Home' by Elizabeth Bromage

Holiday Home by Elizabeth Bromage

(4m, 5f, 1m/f) Three couples arrive for their holiday, a fancy dress and karaoke themed weekend, only to discover that most of the island hotel is an old ancestral pile that is rapidly being reclaimed by the sea. Stuck in a fast disappearing building, with argumentative strangers, odd staff, and a weather front that has cut them off from the mainland, they have their hands full with family mysteries and a long-ago drowning. Do they really want to go on a ghostly treasure hunt too?

Comedy Play Script: 'Hospital Affairs' by Carole Tricker

Hospital Affairs by Carole Tricker

(6m, 5f) This farce is set in an unused hospital ward where a porter hosts poker games for patients. However, Jane, the hospital manager, sees the ward as an ideal place to seduce Dr Preston, and Nurse Susie wants to continue her affair with the same doctor.  Mayhem ensues when another porter brings in his Gran to sleep there as he has overfilled their house with Airbnb guests.

Comedy Play Script: 'How To Relax In Amsterdam' by John Waterhouse

How To Relax In Amsterdam by John Waterhouse

(3m, 3f) Peter has arrived in Amsterdam to spend some time with his friend Saskia whom he met on holiday in Spain. Looking forward to a relaxing stay, he sees himself on TV committing a bank robbery and then discovers he has lost his passport as well, his identity from which is being used to frame him. Wondering if anyone except Saskia will believe he has not committed a crime, Peter tries to lie low but is recognised by another flat resident, the voluptuous Dagarada, a psychologist who is into karate and she has her own agenda for Peter.

Comedy Play Script: 'How To Relax In Andalucia' by John Waterhouse

How To Relax In Andalucia by John Waterhouse

(Two Versions: 3m, 3f or 2m, 3f) Peter, recently made redundant and divorced, is just wanting to use his new found freedom to read and to avoid women. A small quiet guest house in Southern Spain seems to be what Peter is looking for until three backpackers arrive; Carol, the ex-girlfriend of a gangster, Saskia, an annoyingly friendly Dutch woman and Mick, a loud-talking Australian. Then a curious detective from England arrives on the scene. Is Peter’s quest to find solitude and relaxation in jeopardy?

Full Length Comedy Script: 'How To Train Your Husband' by Devon Williamson

How To Train Your Husband by Devon Williamson

(2m, 5f) This madcap comedy addresses an issue close to every woman's heart – how to train your husband! Sound impossible? Not when you have a legendary Husband Trainer living right next door. The play follows the adventures of three generations of the Smith family as they attempt to turn their men into fully trained members of the opposite sex. Nothing quite goes according to plan and the result is an hilarious comedy with plenty of unexpected twists and turns. 

Comedy Play Script: 'Idle Hands' by Ron Hutson

Idle Hands by Ron Hutson

(3m, 5f) A bored housewife goes out in the evening as her tired husband snoozes in front of the television. It takes a sex-hungry neighbour, a 'home tuition artiste', a burglar and a daughter's accident-prone boyfriend to get their lives back on track, with almost disastrous results.

Comedy Play Script: 'I'll Be There in A Minute Now' by Jack Llewellyn

I'll Be There In A Minute Now by Jack Llewellyn

(4m, 2f) The sequel to 'Whose Coat is that Jacket?', this play aims to further explore the issues of what occurs when ambition is mixed in with tradition. Again we join the Williams family as they suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune. Bleddyn, the baby of the family has moved to London, the first of the Williams ever to leave God's green land, and unbeknown to all he has fallen in love with big city life. Will having a beautiful Welsh girlfriend settled in Cardiff, and a loving family waiting for the prodigal son to return to Trimsaran be enough to stop him opting for the bright lights of London Town?

Comedy Play Script: 'It Must Be Love' by Raymond Hopkins

It Must Be Love by Raymond Hopkins

(6m, 4f) Jason is one week away from marrying Lucinda, his childhood sweetheart. Lucinda’s mother has turned the wedding into her personal crusade. No expense has been spared and a year’s preparation has finally come together. Then Julie, a shop assistant from the local florist, calls in to sort out the final arrangements. It’s love at first sight. The mayhem which follows, as Jason realises he’s marrying the wrong girl, will have consequences for everyone.

Comedy Play Script: 'Liberty Hall' by Robin Jennifer Miller

Liberty Hall by Robin Jennifer Miller

(4m, 4f) 90 mins (exc interval) Attempting to impress his American girlfriend, Zoe, Tom has told her he's an English lord whose parents own a stately home.  Ashworth Hall is a delightful country house hotel and Tom's sure, that with the help of his friend Colin, he can pass it off as his parents' home. What could possibly go wrong? Well, his ex might turn up. And Zoe's strict father might turn up, too.  And the managers of the hotel are expecting a visit from their son’s irate teacher...

Comedy Play Script: 'Looking For Love' by Raymond Hopkins

Looking For Love by Raymond Hopkins

(4m, 5f) After twenty-one years of marriage, James Beale walks out on his wife, Molly. She is devastated. After four months of being alone, her best friend, Fiona, persuades her to try the ‘Six-Step miracle cure’ for abandoned wives. She agrees to give it a go, and finds that it has amazing results. Not only does her husband want to come back, but she has two other suitors vying for her affection.   

Play Script: 'Lost For Words' by Devon Williamson

Lost For Words by Devon Williamson

(2m, 2f) For the past 25 years Edwin Miles has been an announcer for Classical Music FM. Ratings have plummeted and his station manager, a heel clicking German, has bought out the the local Reggae station to increase market share. Edwin is now working for "Radio Reggae" and sharing a studio with a white guy who is convinced he is Jamaican. Add to the mix a mute receptionist and Lost for Words is a side splitting comedy that will have you rolling in the aisles.

Comedy Play Script: 'Love And Mistletoe' by Raymond Hopkins

Love And Mistletoe by Raymond Hopkins

(2m, 6f) It is Christmas Eve. Sue and Tom Millard have invited Sue’s widowed dad round to spend Christmas with them. Three wealthy, elderly ladies have also been invited, with the intention of getting Sue’s dad fixed up. An old school friend unexpectedly calls in and starts flirting with Tom. Their daughter informs them she is pregnant by a no-hoper boyfriend. What should have been a happy festive time turns into a fiasco.

Comedy Play Script: 'Love And Money' by Raymond Hopkins

Love And Money by Raymond Hopkins

(4m, 4f) Derek and Pauline Felton’s house has been burgled. Derek decides that their new home insurance policy will yield a lucrative pay-out. Pauline becomes increasingly unhappy about Derek’s devious actions in securing the money. Things get complicated when their daughter’s new boyfriend turns out to be the burglar. To add to the mayhem, the local vicar falls hopelessly in love with the Scenes of Crimes Officer, and the next door neighbour keeps offering unwelcome advice.

Comedy Play Script: 'Love And Perfect Harmony' by Raymond Hopkins

Love And Perfect Harmony by Raymond Hopkins

(4m, 5f) Timothy Ledbury runs a small town choir. Over the years, the Mayor’s wife has always been the lead soloist, not because of hersinging ability, but because of her dominant personality. Carrie, a shy newcomer to the town, joins the choir. Her voice is outstanding. The choir has been selected to take part in an international competition. Who will take the lead role? 

Comedy Play Script: 'Love At Last' by Raymond Hopkins

Love At Last by Raymond Hopkins

(3m, 7f) This play is set in a retirement complex whose residents are a rich mixture of elderly people from all walks of life. There has been a spate of robberies and everything points to a member of staff. However, all is not as it seems! There is also romance with three ladies who each think that an eligible bachelor is vying for their affection. Finally, we have a vicar who keeps popping in to entice a female staff member into his fold! 

Comedy Play Script: 'Love Begins At Fifty' by Raymond Hopkins

Love Begins At Fifty by Raymond Hopkins

(3m, 6f) After twenty-eight years in a loveless marriage, Clive Debanks decides to have an affair. He selects three prospective partners from the ‘Lonely Hearts’ column in the local paper. The same paper is running a competition to find the perfect married couple, the first prize being a Caribbean cruise. His wife, Anita, secretly enters. The night Clive is entertaining one of his dates, a photographer from the paper arrives to take pictures of the ‘happy married couple’.
 

Comedy Play Script: 'Love On The Beach' by Raymond Hopkins

Love On The Beach by Raymond Hopkins

(2m, 6f) Tom Millard’s world has been shattered by the unexpected death of his wife. Realizing that life is short, Tom makes a bucket list. His first objective is to move to the coast. Next, he hires the services of an escort lady for an evening’s entertainment. Unfortunately, Tom mistakes the local female vicar for his escort date. The bucket list continues, bringing more surprises and love into his world.

Lucky Numbers by Mike Yeaman

(4m, 3f) Nana is losing control of her life and her mind and now has to live with her feckless family. When her winning numbers come up on the Lotto, it’s her chance to force the family to change their ways. Can they convince her that they are reformed characters before the ticket expires? A fast-paced comedy that builds into classic farce. Winner of The People’s Theatre (Newcastle) Play Award, 2007.

Comedy Play Script: 'Lust In The Dust' by Alan Bates

Lust In The Dust by Alan Bates

(2m, 3f) A family-friendly comedy, bordering on farce of the old school variety. Elizabeth, the matriarch is the custodian of a valuable artefact that is due to be returned to the country of its origin. However, because of blizzard conditions, Elizabeth's daughter, her husband and their respective paramours are forced to stay. They plot to steal the artefact before it is returned. Skulduggery of the highest and most humorous, ensues.

Comedy Play Script: 'Make Time For Love' by Raymond Hopkins

Make Time For Love by Raymond Hopkins

(3m, 7f) Brian Hardisty is a pillar of society. He is involved with several charitable organisations, as well as being a Magistrate. However, he is not happy with his life. He is in a loveless marriage, and fed up with the daily rat race. So out of the blue, without telling his family, he decides to leave home and disappear into the sunset. 

Many Happy Returns by Jill Woods

(6m, 4f) The early 1980’s, and also Grandad’s 80th birthday, planned to within an inch of its life by daughter Brenda, whose aim is a happy family celebration and, almost as importantly, to impress the local Vicar, who fairly soon starts to regret the invitation as things quickly go awry.   Brenda’s husband and three sons cause problems in their own individual ways, driving her to the comfort of the cooking sherry, though the birthday boy himself is blissfully oblivious to it all, until he receives the most unexpected of gifts.

Menopause Made Me Do It by Devon Williamson

(1m, 5f) It has been ten years since the last reunion of the Crazy Ladies. Menopause has arrived and the ladies are crazier than ever. The mission is to convince Kay, the gun toting tom-boy, to marry Shaun (the guy she once kidnapped and held to account for the sins of all men). Hilarious... poignant... utterly mad. While this is the second 'Crazy Ladies' play, it can be performed with or without a prior production of the original 'Crazy Ladies'.

Comedy Play Script: 'Murder Afoot!' by Knit Naerum

Murder Afoot! by Knut Naerum

(5m, 5f) The action unfolds in the Drawing Room of wealthy factory owner Titus Platt’s rather stately home somewhere in 1930’s England. Titus is murdered and Inspector Bullock of the Yard is sent for. When he starts to investigate, there are many suspects: the son, Malcolm; his sister Penny; her fiancé Thomas; the maid, Livia; the house keeper, Miss Grimlish, and the mysterious new chauffeur, Dick Drake. When a man staggers in, bound and gagged, and says that he too is Inspector Bullock, there’s quite some explaining to do!

Comedy Play Script: 'Murder With Ghosts' by Simon Brett

Murder With Ghosts by Simon Brett

(5m, 5f) During a weekend house party at Quittendon Manor, the owner, Lady Cholmondley, tells a private investigator, Peregrine Villiers, that she believes she is about to be murdered. However, it is he who is murdered first. To his surprise, he returns to the action immediately, as a ghost. Since the other characters can neither see him or hear him, he can only watch, as other weekend guests get murdered and join him on the Other Side. Who is left alive at the end? Just one person and the ghosts know the answer!

Comedy Play Script: 'My Ex' by Trevor Johnson

My Ex by Trevor Johnson

(3m, 3f) Three couples buy a new house in a cul-de-sac on a new, up-market estate. Soon afterwards Paul & Penelope hold a dinner party for the other four: Andy & Susie and Geoffrey & Alice. Trouble is, that Paul & Susie were previously married to each other, as were Geoffrey & Penelope and Andy & Alice. All have been divorced and have not seen each other for three of four years, which could make for an interesting conversation during the meat course.

Comedy Play Script: 'My Husband's Nuts' by Devon Williamson

My Husband's Nuts by Devon Williamson

(2m, 3f) Barbara's husband is missing on the family farm. When Jack finally returns he is a nervous wreck and will not leave the house and is convinced that he is Hiroo Onoda - a Japanese soldier holding out on an island after World War Two. Barbara's husband is nuts. The only people she can trust with this information is the new vet and the village idiot. How will they restore Jack's mind without the help of the medical profession... or common sense?

Comedy Play Script: 'My In-Laws Are Outlaws' by Devon Williamson

My In-Laws Are Outlaws by Devon Williamson

(1m, 5f) It has been ten years since the last reunion of the Crazy Ladies. Menopause has arrived and the ladies are crazier than ever. The mission is to convince Kay, the gun toting tom-boy, to marry Shaun (the guy she once kidnapped and held to account for the sins of all men). Hilarious... poignant... utterly mad. While this is the second 'Crazy Ladies' play, it can be performed with or without a prior production of the original 'Crazy Ladies'.

Oh Comrade, What A Lovely Pair! by Mike Sole

(4m, 7f) Roxanne is getting married soon and the last-minute preparations are taking place. Roxanne’s father, Bob, has even taken a small job to make ends meet. Everything is going fine until he has an unusual encounter in the park with the Russian Mafia who inadvertently swap their briefcase containing smuggled fine wine with his containing cleaning product samples. In trying to get their wine bottles back leads the mafia to some strange situations. This is the sequel to ‘Oh Vicar! What A Lovely Pair!’, but can be performed without any knowledge of the previous play.

Comedy Play Script: 'Oh Vicar, What A Lovely Pair' by Mike Sole

Oh Vicar, What A Lovely Pair! by Mike Sole

(5m, 3f) A fast-moving comedy in which a dysfunctional working-class family run into difficulties when their daughter Roxanne decides to marry upper class Charles. The vicar calls to collect donations for the jumble sale and son Kevin gives away an old vase, not knowing that it contains the family savings. When the pub syndicate wins the lottery, but Bob fails to buy a ticket it would appear that nothing else could go wrong. It can though when they decide to do a robbery to recoup their losses with unintended consequences. The sequel is: 'Oh Comrade, What A Lovely Pair!'.

Open Wide by Gerald Walker

(4m, 2f) Roger is planning a cosy night in with his dental receptionist, Sarah. But events conspire relentlessly against him despite his best efforts at seduction. Neighbour Sid gets caught up in the mayhem when Roger's son Adrian arrives from Amsterdam with ‘stuff’ for his mates, arousing the suspicions of Crispin, an enthusiastic policeman on a one-man anti-drugs crusade. When Roger's long-suffering girlfriend Pamela turns up unexpectedly the stage is set for a riotous farce in the best British tradition.

Oscars by Nick Wilkes

(4m, 1f) Oscars Cinema opened in 1933. Built in the Art Deco style, it could seat 1001 people and had all the modern conveniences. But now it's closing down. The ushers blame the new out-of-town Multiplex, the manager blames modern legislation, and the projectionist blames the resident ghost! Will the lights finally flicker out, or will someone save the silver-screen before the final reel? Take one last trip to Oscars.

Over Exposure by Ann Gawthorpe & Lesley Bown

(4m, 2f) It’s the year of the Silver Jubilee and Fred Fittleworth, owner of Fittleworth’s Family Photographers, wants to be mayor. To fund his campaign he agrees to take glamour photos for a magazine on the same day the EU’s anti-sleaze campaigner is visiting his wife. Juggling the demands of the glamour model and his wife he is forced to dress up as his own sister, fight off the over-sexed campaigner and stop his mother-in-law moving in.

Over The Gate by Danny Greenstone

(8m, 4f) The radio serial 'Over The Gate' is failing. The name of their deadly rival programme ('The Archers') is banned from the studio. But can the axe be prevented? This comedy hinges on the 'magic of radio' - what real listeners 'see' is only what they hear. Your audience, however, witness everything that goes on: cows, car crashes, sex and guns, all appearing in the mind’s eye… or not!

Passion Wagon by Colin Barrow

(4m, 4f) A comedy play which revolves around the time old classic of a mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law, of tension and disapproval. Stella Watts has agreed with her husband Brian to take their daughter Amy and his mother Florrie on a two-week family holiday. It's the eleventh day and, as yet, they've been unable to get away from each other thanks to appalling bad weather. As the day unfurls, the cutting remarks and situations can't stop romance creeping into the family from all angles; one assurance is that Florrie Watts, who wishes she'd stayed at home, will have the last laugh.

Comedy Play Script: 'Peter Pantelyne, Esq' by Stephen Bean

Peter Pantelyne, Esq by Stephen Bean

(4m, 2f) Winner - Best Original Play, AETF North East Heats : 2007
Based on the medieval French play featuring Pierre Patelin, this play is a comedy involving trickery, lust, avarice and getting one’s just deserts, in which respect it retains the original theme of morality. In the play we meet Peter Pantelyne, a trickster who live on his wits, his spirited wife Gloria, a dim motor mechanic called Cooksey and a despicable pawnbroker who has about every vice known to man. Caught up in the middle of this motley bunch is the Judge, initially a victim of the pawnbroker, but who turns the tables in spectacular fashion. The play contains a fight scene and some (optional) nudity. Also available as a one act version.

Comedy Play Script: 'Player King' by Ryan Stevens

Player King by Ryan Stevens

(5m, 7f, 1m/f) During a community theatre's production of 'Hamlet,' a snubbed actor seeks to claim the title role by any means necessary, setting off a chain reaction of bruised egos, disguises, and shenanigans, all (well, mostly all) spoken in Shakespearean verse!

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