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               COVID-19 Advice (issued 18 March 2020)

Given the current circumstances we've had a high number of groups make contact with us, and, due to the amount of effort put into rehearsals/marketing etc, most of them have so far wanted to re-schedule rather than cancel. We're not charging fees for any deferral of productions.

If you decide to postpone your production you probably won't know the dates for later in the year, or next year, yet, but please advise us nevertheless, and we'll issue a new temporary licence to show a date range of 2-3 months which you can then refine with us when the actual production dates are known.

Regarding cancellation: our administration fee will not be levied where you are forced to cancel your production.
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We will be unable to fulfil any orders for printed scripts for the foreseeable future. Any orders placed will be cancelled and a refund made.
Orders for downloadable preview scripts and e-scripts are not affected.


Comedy (N-Z)

Titles (A-M)

Oh Comrade, What A Lovely Pair! by Mike Sole

(4m, 7f) Roxanne is getting married soon and the last-minute preparations are taking place. Roxanne’s father, Bob, has even taken a small job to make ends meet. Everything is going fine until he has an unusual encounter in the park with the Russian Mafia who inadvertently swap their briefcase containing smuggled fine wine with his containing cleaning product samples. In trying to get their wine bottles back leads the mafia to some strange situations. This is the sequel to ‘Oh Vicar! What A Lovely Pair!’, but can be performed without any knowledge of the previous play.

Comedy Play Script: 'Oh Vicar, What A Lovely Pair' by Mike Sole

Oh Vicar, What A Lovely Pair! by Mike Sole

(5m, 3f) A fast-moving comedy in which a dysfunctional working-class family run into difficulties when their daughter Roxanne decides to marry upper class Charles. The vicar calls to collect donations for the jumble sale and son Kevin gives away an old vase, not knowing that it contains the family savings. When the pub syndicate wins the lottery, but Bob fails to buy a ticket it would appear that nothing else could go wrong. It can though when they decide to do a robbery to recoup their losses with unintended consequences. The sequel is: 'Oh Comrade, What A Lovely Pair!'.

Open Wide by Gerald Walker

(4m, 2f) Roger is planning a cosy night in with his dental receptionist, Sarah. But events conspire relentlessly against him despite his best efforts at seduction. Neighbour Sid gets caught up in the mayhem when Roger's son Adrian arrives from Amsterdam with ‘stuff’ for his mates, arousing the suspicions of Crispin, an enthusiastic policeman on a one-man anti-drugs crusade. When Roger's long-suffering girlfriend Pamela turns up unexpectedly the stage is set for a riotous farce in the best British tradition.

Oscars by Nick Wilkes

(4m, 1f) Oscars Cinema opened in 1933. Built in the Art Deco style, it could seat 1001 people and had all the modern conveniences. But now it's closing down. The ushers blame the new out-of-town Multiplex, the manager blames modern legislation, and the projectionist blames the resident ghost! Will the lights finally flicker out, or will someone save the silver-screen before the final reel? Take one last trip to Oscars.

Over Exposure by Ann Gawthorpe & Lesley Bown

(4m, 2f) It’s the year of the Silver Jubilee and Fred Fittleworth, owner of Fittleworth’s Family Photographers, wants to be mayor. To fund his campaign he agrees to take glamour photos for a magazine on the same day the EU’s anti-sleaze campaigner is visiting his wife. Juggling the demands of the glamour model and his wife he is forced to dress up as his own sister, fight off the over-sexed campaigner and stop his mother-in-law moving in.

Over The Gate by Danny Greenstone

(8m, 4f) The radio serial 'Over The Gate' is failing. The name of their deadly rival programme ('The Archers') is banned from the studio. But can the axe be prevented? This comedy hinges on the 'magic of radio' - what real listeners 'see' is only what they hear. Your audience, however, witness everything that goes on: cows, car crashes, sex and guns, all appearing in the mind’s eye… or not!

Passion Wagon by Colin Barrow

(4m, 4f) A comedy play which revolves around the time old classic of a mother-in-law versus daughter-in-law, of tension and disapproval. Stella Watts has agreed with her husband Brian to take their daughter Amy and his mother Florrie on a two-week family holiday. It's the eleventh day and, as yet, they've been unable to get away from each other thanks to appalling bad weather. As the day unfurls, the cutting remarks and situations can't stop romance creeping into the family from all angles; one assurance is that Florrie Watts, who wishes she'd stayed at home, will have the last laugh.

Comedy Play Script: 'Peter Pantelyne, Esq' by Stephen Bean

Peter Pantelyne, Esq by Stephen Bean

(4m, 2f) Winner - Best Original Play, AETF North East Heats : 2007
Based on the medieval French play featuring Pierre Patelin, this play is a comedy involving trickery, lust, avarice and getting one’s just deserts, in which respect it retains the original theme of morality. In the play we meet Peter Pantelyne, a trickster who live on his wits, his spirited wife Gloria, a dim motor mechanic called Cooksey and a despicable pawnbroker who has about every vice known to man. Caught up in the middle of this motley bunch is the Judge, initially a victim of the pawnbroker, but who turns the tables in spectacular fashion. The play contains a fight scene and some (optional) nudity. Also available as a one act version.

Comedy Play Script: 'Player King' by Ryan Stevens

Player King by Ryan Stevens

(5m, 7f, 1m/f) During a community theatre's production of 'Hamlet,' a snubbed actor seeks to claim the title role by any means necessary, setting off a chain reaction of bruised egos, disguises, and shenanigans, all (well, mostly all) spoken in Shakespearean verse!

Radiodram by Nick Wilkes

(4m, 1f) "Broadcasting from the former Glen Likestar Distillery on 102.6 and 107.2 fm. You're listening to Radiodram, the Spirit of the Highlands" ... but is anyone else? A remote Scottish coastal town, a traditional Gaelic community, and a chronic lack of bonnie-lasses to bring a smile to the clans, the kilts and the Celts. Then a work-experience student arrives, modern, English, and worse… a woman! Will the airwaves ever be the same again?

Play Script: 'Room-Mates' by Joe Simonelli

Room Mates by Joe Simonelli

(3m, 2f) When divorced accountant and aspiring novelist Frank Avino gets a call from the police, it can only mean trouble. His divorced friend Tom has just been tossed out of his girlfriend's house and has no where else to stay. It is agreed he can stay with Frank in his tiny suburban New Jersey apartment for a few days until he gets his own place. A few days quickly turns into a few months and begins to cramp 'ladies man" Frank's style. Add in Frank's suspicious landlord and his visiting mother from Brooklyn and you have a very funny mix!

Comedy Play Script: 'Round The Houses' by Diana Raffle

Round The Houses by Diana Raffle

(3m, 5f) Helen and Lionel Simpson are planning to divorce and instruct estate agent Simon Allcock to sell their house. Before doing so the unscrupulous Simon decides to use their property for a romantic liaison with his secretary. His plans however are complicated with the arrival of his hapless assistant Bernard; a seductive female doctor; Bernard’s very strange wife; and a flamboyant thespian, Miriam. Mayhem arises in this fast-paced comedy with missing clothes, mistaken identities, and a cow!

Comedy Play Script: 'Roy Brown - Reclaiming Stonhenge' by Derek Webb

Roy Brown: Reclaiming Stonehenge by Derek Webb

(4m, 6f, 2m/f) If Scotland can get back the Stone of Scone, Greece wants the Elgin marbles back and India wants its Koh-i-noor diamond, why shouldn’t Wales have the Stonehenge bluestones back? Roy Brown is no stranger to weird ideas and delights in this opportunity to project himself as a defender of Welsh heritage (even though he comes from Margate). The Druids though, are not so keen and tell Roy about their plans to re-start human sacrifices again, a thought that rather quickly causes him to re-think the whole idea. Will he let the campaign fall by the wayside, or could there be another opportunity? 

Comedy Play Script: 'She Loves Him, He Loves Her Not' by Andrew Piñon

She Loves Him, He Loves Her Not by Andrew Piñon

(Minimum 6m, 4f, 1m/f) Smeraldina has always loved Oratio. But, Oratio is now in love with Isabella whilst Isabella is engaged to Flavio. But, Flavio isn't ready to settle down. As the wedding day approached, emotions run high in this quiet, provincial Italian village. Things get even more complicated when magic rings, voodoo dolls, and blood-thirsty pirates are thrown into the mix. This slapstick, ensemble comedy features twelve zany characters who get caught up in the cacophony of chaos. Performed in the Italian style of Commedia dell Arte, this play gives enormous opportunities for the performers to improvise and engage with the audience. The story is suitable for audiences of all ages.

Some Of My Best Friends Are Women by Carole Tricker

(2m, 5f) A breezy comedy with strong female roles. The book group are meeting at Lynn’s house.  Everything is ready. There’s even a bottle of champagne on ice. What could possibly go wrong, after all, they are all good friends and know each other well? Or do they? As the evening descends into chaos true characters are revealed and friendships are challenged. The group survives, maybe stronger, maybe wiser?

Special Features by Nick Broadhead

(5m, 4f, 1m/f) Have you ever watched a play and wished you could rewind it because you’ve missed a bit of the plot? That’s what the audience in this ‘play within a play’ are treated to, not because the plot of ‘Special Features’ is complicated or confusing, but it’s just funnier that way. Find out what the parrot has to do with product placement in the theatre, and also why the leading lady has a broken leg (yes, a real one!).

Stand And Deliver by Janet Shaw

(4m, 10f) Winner - Audience Award, Wakefield Drama Festival : 2009
In a small Maternity Ward, Sister Mitchell and Nurse Walker have to contend with four pregnant women and their other half's (or mother in one case) each with different reasons for being pregnant and different views on births, deaths and marriages. It may sound like an unlikely setting for a comedy play, but Janet Shaw has a talent for turning the most incongruous situation and poking fun at it, or the people in it. Great fun!

Comedy Play Script: 'Stopped Interrupting' by Nick Broadhead

Stopped Interrupting by Nick Broadhead

(4m, 4f) A play within a play (sort of). When a performance looks likely to be cancelled due to a missing actor, the author of the play agrees to stand in for him. A few minutes into Act One, the cast are perturbed by a lady member of the audience standing up and claiming that she wrote the play, not the supposed 'author' on stage. It transpires that they were in love many years ago, but broke up and haven't seen each other since. Did the script get snaffled? Why did they break up? How will the cast cope with this unusual and testing situation?

Sunking by Nick Wilkes

(3m, 1f) It’s tough trying to stay afloat. Daniel and Max, two guys at a crossroads in life, facing change, comparing what they want out of life with what is reasonable to expect, and not liking the compromise. All this and a supermarket trolley dumped in the duck pond - but is it half underwater or half sticking out? Like them, have you ever had that ‘Sunking’ feeling?

Comedy Play Script: 'Thank You, Mr Dickens!' by Jane Hilliard

Thank You, Mr Dickens! by Jane Hilliard

(5m, 5f)
It's Christmas Eve and the ladies of Ma Frinton's bordello are not looking forward to the festive season. Business is slow and they find themselves with no money, no food, and no gin! The arrival of Charles Dickens appears to offer them some hope - he is about to write a new novel and he is hoping they will provide him with inspiration... which they do, but maybe they are about to embellish the truth 'slightly' as their imaginations are allowed free rein.

Comedy Play Script: 'The Boobytrap' by Jane Hilliard

The Boobytrap by Jane Hilliard

(3m, 5f) A country cottage is the weekend retreat of Gerald Caunfield, MP, but it's the permanent home of his wife, Debbie. One weekend a young lady visitor comes to stay and threatens to wreak havoc in the Caunfields peaceful idyll. The arrival then of some unwelcome guests adds to the mayhem, where misunderstandings and confusion run riot. One simple set is all that's needed for this light-hearted comedy.

Comedy Play Script: 'The Inaccurate Conception' by Saunders & Ahsem

The Inaccurate Conception by Geoff Saunders & Richard Ahsem

(min 2m, 4f; max 8m, 12f) A raucous and often slightly surreal celebration of everyone’s first brush with the theatre – the school Nativity play. Seven-year-olds, teachers and parents alike are played by adults in this energetic and warm-hearted comedy concerning a young primary teacher’s efforts – against the odds – to produce just such a play.

Comedy Play: 'The Last Post' by Challenger & Watts

The Last Post by David Challenger & Adam Watts

(3m, 2f) Harry, a Falklands war veteran in a residential home, is determined to beat the system. With the help of several other ageing residents they use their military training to try and change the home for the better. Like any ‘mission’ there are some snags along the way. Namely Eva who runs the home and just-so-happens to be married to an Argentinian! There is also the handyman Lance, who claims to be American. Will his scams land the latest resident in hot water? Or will the pair simply rub each other up the wrong way? Mishap follows mishap as the plot unfolds. Will Harry succeed? Does the home survive it’s threatened closure? Can Eva and Harry ever make their peace?

Comedy Play: 'The Mummy' by Jack Milner

The Mummy by Jack Milner

(3m, 2f) “The 39 Steps in bandages”… From deepest, darkest, dangerous Egypt, via Torquay… a legendary curse is stirring back into life and we're all going along for an outrageous, terrifying ride as it takes grip…! A respectable legal practitioner, a beautiful dark-eyed Cornish heiress and her father, a 5,000 year-old man seeking an ancient love and the Tomb of the mystical Queen Tera all clash spectacularly in hilarious circumstances!

Comedy Play: 'The Offending Biscuit' by Roger Manktelow

The Offending Biscuit by Roger Manktelow

(3m, 3f) Gerald Bottomly truly believes that 'The Diamond' is the worst biscuit in the world. This is mainly because it has caused the downfall of his mighty biscuit empire, which is now in danger of being taken over by the 'Other Biscuit Company'. They plan to stop production of all Gerald's biscuits. The day of foreclosure is rapidly approaching - a disaster for Lipton, an alien from the planet Rich Tea, a planet that is desperate for Diamond biscuits, as its very existence depends on them.

Play Script: 'The Old People Are Revolting' by Devon Williamson

The Old People Are Revolting by Devon Williamson

(2m, 5f) An hilarious comedy about senior citizens seeking revenge! The residents of the Sunshine Retirement Village have had enough: they're revolting! Fed up with being ignored, and relegated to the sidelines of life they've decided to prove to the world just how dangerous seniors can be! Bursting with eccentric characters and crazy shenanigans the play is great fun to stage and a huge audience-pleaser. 

The Pink Pearl by Bruno Lacroix

(3m, 2f) Imagine a restaurant that’s not yet properly open for business, where the only customer is an international food critic, where the decor is added to every 30 minutes, where the tee-total barman serves drinks way too strong, where the elderly lady tenant of the flat over the shop is pressed into helping, and where the owner desperately wants to win a coveted culinary award. It sounds like a recipe for disaster, and in this farcical comedy, the disaster pays off when the meat-based dish that’s mistakenly eaten by the vegetarian critic turns out to be a winner!

The Scent Of Danger by Michael Park

(4m, 4f) Barry Bigley has set up as a private detective and the last things he needs, besides a lack of clients, are constant interference from a mother obsessed with cleaning, a father eager to appear on TV quiz shows, a clingy fiancée and a threatening landlord. When the daughter of a rich diamond merchant is kidnapped, it should be his chance to overcome all obstacles and find success. Of course, it would help if he had the faintest idea of how a private detective goes about his business.

The Village Hall by John Bartlett

(9m, 8f) Four 30 min linked one-act plays (or play 2, 3 or 4 in combination)
That hallowed institution - the Village Hall, scene of unparalleled local country dramas is the setting for these four comedy plays. Each play stands up in its own right, but the quartet could be played together in many combinations. Each play features one or two main characters and their particular use of the Hall, a Jumble Sale, the Amateur Dramatics group, the scout's Gang Show and the Wedding Reception.

Tie Break by Nick Broadhead

(4m, 4f, 1m/f) When 94 year old Vincent arrives at Clive and Ann's house arm in arm with 21 year old Melanie, and it's announced they are engaged, everybody suspects of her of being a gold-digger. After she leaves, they discuss theories as to how she could 'bump the old codger off' without getting caught. Later, a policeman arrives to quiz them on the sudden demise of Vincent.. Is he all that he seems though? What does he say when the real Vincent arrives?

Tinsel by Deborah Amor

(9m, 12f) 'Tinsel' is a large cast show with lots of lovely cameo parts and is set in the struggling Pebbledon Theatre. Here, the Pebbledon Reps are rehearsing their Christmas show, putting up with cheap costumes and tatty scenery. The theatre’s owner has died, leaving his long-lost daughter as sole beneficiary, but she cannot be traced. Instead, his great-great-niece, Stacey Starchy, could inherit. Her plans though, threaten the very fabric of the theatre itself.

Play Script: 'Twas The Fight Before Christmas' by Devon Williamson

Twas The Fight Before Christmas by Devon Williams

(2m, 4f) Think your family is complicated? Meet the most dysfunctional family you can imagine as they try to navigate Christmas. Peace on earth and good will to all men? Not likely! Ever since her husband died, Mary’s horrible adult children have been ruining Christmas. This year, with the help of a suicidal French psychiatrist, Mary is determined to take Christmas back. An hilarious and uplifting Christmas comedy. 

Play Script: 'Understanding Women' by Devon Williamson

Understanding Women by Devon Williamson

(3m, 1f) Mike, Dave and Julian spend a weekend in a garden shed determined to break an age-old mystery. Armed with a case of beer, a box of girlie magazines and a holy book they are going to 'understand women'. What they discover is not quite what they expected. 'Understanding Women' is a comedy play for both sexes!

Play Script: 'Viva La Costa' by Pip Burley

Viva! La Costa by Pip Burley

(4m, 4f) Henry and Tracey have rented a house on the Costa del Sol for three months to get over the trauma of Henry’s redundancy. Next door live Sid and Viv who retired to Marbella two years ago and are keen to introduce their younger neighbours to the ex-pat set. But life on the Costa turns out to be not quite what Henry and Tracey expected…

Walking Tall by Gerald Walker

(4m, 3f) At the Back o' Beyond Youth Hostel Clive and Steve are preparing to tackle the hike to end all hikes, Black Pike And the Devil's Buttress by way of Razor's Edge and Hell's Kitchen...and at the same time trying to ignore the weather forecast! Mind you, there are distractions a-plenty, quite apart from the weather, to interest two red-blooded lads...

Comedy Play Script: 'What's A Calorie Between Friends' by Carole Tricker

What's A Calorie Between Friends? by Carole Tricker

(2m, 8f) A gentle comedy that takes a humorous look at the members of a slimming club as they try, unsuccessfully, to lose the pounds. The class is threatened with closure so some of the members come up with an outrageous plan to fool the area manager into believing they have actually lost weight. Things go wrong, people fall out, secrets are revealed, romance blossoms as the whole class joins together to try and make amends.

Whatever Happened To Ruby Quicksilver? by Janet Shaw

(4m, 6f) Frankie Morgan gave up the glittering life as pop/rock singer Ruby Quicksilver and now runs an hotel in Fuengirola on the Costa del Sol. What made her give it all up and retreat to obscurity? When another hotel's misfortune causes a few of their guests to de-camp, Frankie should be happy, but, the guests begin to cause problems. There's the hen party with some awkward secrets, a young man who thinks he's god's gift to women, and Mavis, a woman for whom nothing is ever right, and her compliant, anything-for-a-quiet-life husband, Cliff. Not only does the combination of this lot start to raise some temperatures, but it turns out that many years ago, Cliff and Ruby were friendly, and he knows more than he's letting on about Grace, Frankie's daughter.

Comedy Play Script: 'Where There's A Will' by Norman Robbins

Where There's A Will by Norman Robbins

(3m, 6f) "Where there's a will - there's relations" or so they say in Yorkshire.  But when everyone has a will naming them as sole heirs, who will inherit?  As they all reel in shock the first 'accident' occurs prompting a cunning plan for others to get their hands on the cash, but as they conspire, a ruthless killer stalks the house and bodies fall like flies.  Whodunit?  Alcoholic Miriam, venomous Velma, dreadful Donna, male stripper Troy or mummy's boy Fordyce?.

Comedy Play Script: 'Where There's A Will' by Joe Simonelli

Where There's A Will by Joe Simonelli

(3m, 1f) Through a quirk of fate the Bard is transported through time to the year 2014 where he lands outside the house of Gordon Coldridge, a struggling playwright with a pushy manager and an estranged girlfriend! Up against a deadline with writer's block due to an ill-fated romance, who better to assist you, than William Shakespeare.

Comedy Play Script: 'Whose Coat Is That Jacket' by Jack Llewellyn

Whose Coat Is That Jacket? by Jack Llewellyn

(4m, 2f) The play endeavours to explain the unexplainable notion in Welsh families of 'Hiraeth' (best translated as 'a heartfelt longing for one's homeland') and is centered on the hopes and dreams of a traditional Welsh family and the young ambitious English woman who finds herself trapped in this claustrophobic environment. This dark comedy provokes thought, as tradition, taboo, expectations, relationships, family, identity, compromise and language are all thrown into the melting pot, linking past and present with the unpredictable future of this 'stable' household.

Wives as they Were, and Maids as they Are

(7m, 3f, 2/m/f) a play by Elizabeth Inchbald, part of our Regency Repertoire
Miss Maria Dorillion is an intelligent and independent-minded young woman continually criticised and repressed by her fusty male guardians. Although virtuous, loyal and caring, she is constantly tempted by the high life of 18th century London and suffers from gambling problems and debt. Throughout the play we follow her journey to find her place in society: to either reconcile herself to old ways, or to modern fashion. Should she be a ‘wife of former times’ or a ‘maid of the present day’?

Titles (A-M)