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Stand And Deliver

    by Janet Shaw



"After a hard day at work, the bawdy hospital-based comedy 'Stand and Deliver' was just the tonic last night at Wakefield Theatre Royal for a sell-out audience to laugh their way through ..."

Don Mort, Wakefield Express, 27 May 2009


Winner - Audience Award
Wakefield Drama Festival - JABA Players, 2009


Synopsis

This extremely funny play takes a 'behind the scenes' look into the world of the maternity ward. Join sex-mad nurse Lindsay Walker, and the four ladies on C Ward.

The patients are : Vivien Withrington whose husband forgot to pay the private health insurance; Lizzie who has been caught out in the change of life; Nicola who gets confused easily and whose baby will have to match the soft furnishings in her house, and Michelle, whose only mistake was drinking alcopops and being 16.

Three of these four have the husbands they deserve, who each tries to help his wife during the last few hours before 'the big push' in the only way they know best - by being a man, and either not being there, or retiring as often as possible to the TV Room. Michelle though, has her mum - a domineering matriarch who is desperate that the baby is adopted to prevent the shame of having to reveal that her daughter is an unmarried mother.

The delivery rooms are full and so Vivien (who insisted on delivering in the birthing pool at the private 'Fairhomes' nursing home) together with Nicola have to deliver in their beds on the ward, during which Sister Mitchell and Nurse Walker show their compassionate side.

Through all this, the two domestics (Dot and Brenda) provide a down-to-earth patter of comfort to the labouring mothers, and barbed wit to the hospital staff.

It may sound like an unlikely setting for a comedy play, but Janet Shaw has a talent for turning the most incongruous situation and poking fun at it, or the people in it. This is truly a side-splitting comedy, which will leave you in stitches ... from laughing. It contains strong language and is not suitable for the easily offended.


Characters (4m, 10f)

Principals (1m, 6f)
  Lindsay Walker - a young midwife/nurse, man-mad, has a good bedside manner
  Sister Mitchell - a typical ward manager, competent but cold
  Vivien Withrington - a social climber, "keeps up with the Jones's", likes things her own way
  Nicola Ward - first-time anxious mother-to-be, reads a birth manual to maintain her confidence
  Kevin Ward - first-time anxious father-to-be, wants to video the whole affair
  Michelle Greenwood - young, innocent, made a mistake, desperately wants to keep the baby
  Lizzie Meadows - a mother of five teenage children
 
Support (3m, 4f)
  Dr Mathers- a Doctor at the hospital, Lindsay's current sleeping partner
  Eric Meadows- a 'traditional' northern father, old-fashioned views, strong Yorkshire accent
  Clive Withrington- tries hard to give Vivien what she demands, not always successfully
  Mrs Greenwood- Michelle's domineering mother, desperately wants to have the baby adopted
  Dot- a middle aged domestic
  Brenda- another middle-aged domestic, not as bright as Dot
  Trish Meadows- the teenage daughter of Eric and Lizzie


Read the full script online here...


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