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               COVID-19 Advice (issued 18 March 2020)

Given the current circumstances we've had a high number of groups make contact with us, and, due to the amount of effort put into rehearsals/marketing etc, most of them have so far wanted to re-schedule rather than cancel. We're not charging fees for any deferral of productions.

If you decide to postpone your production you probably won't know the dates for later in the year, or next year, yet, but please advise us nevertheless, and we'll issue a new temporary licence to show a date range of 2-3 months which you can then refine with us when the actual production dates are known.

Regarding cancellation: our administration fee will not be levied where you are forced to cancel your production.
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We will be unable to fulfil any orders for printed scripts for the foreseeable future. Any orders placed will be cancelled and a refund made.
Orders for downloadable preview scripts and e-scripts are not affected.


Let's Be 'Avin' You!

    by Geoff Buckingham



Comedy Play Script: 'Lets Be 'Avin' You' by Geoff Buckingham

When the hapless Sergeant Pickles and Constable Cackett realise that Botchington Police Station is under threat of closure by the ruthless Chief Inspector Allcock, the future looks bleak, particularly when they learn that the country's most notorious criminal gang have moved onto their patch. However, they vow to fight this crime wave, and to keep the police station open.

They stumble and bumble their way through a hilarious plot to catch the criminal gang and eventually succeed, with the help of the spinsters of Botchington Ladies Knitting Circle! Their joy is heightened by the discovery that the Chief Inspector's Viagra prescription has been inadvertently swapped with Nytol tablets, resulting in his demotion and their promotion.

We also discover that the Chief Inspector's new girlfriend is not what she seems. The play finishes with the police staff and the eccentric spinsters celebrating their triumph, which is rewarded with a huge donation to keep the police station open, plus an imminent Royal visit!


40-45 mins approx


(3m, 5f, 1m/f)

  • Inspector Allcock - 30+ (m)
  • Sergeant Pickles - 30+ (m)
  • Constable Cackett - 20+ (m)
  • Hilda - a pensioner
  • Myrtle - a pensioner
  • Dottie - a pensioner
  • Dolly - 30+, a cleaner
  • Miss Dixon-Beaver - 18+, tarty, girlfriend of the Inspector
  • Police Courier - any age, non-speaking role (m/f)


  • Preview E-Script (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    £0.00 Preview E-Script (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    A free preview script containing a significant part of the full script and provided as a pdf file sized for A4 paper.
  • E-Script (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    £3.25 E-Script (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    The full script provided as a pdf file for A4 size paper. You have a maximum of three download attempts (which includes viewing) within a 30 day period. You are licensed to print this once for your personal use. If you want...
  • Printed Script (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    £7.49 Printed Script (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    A printed script provided as an A5 paperback acting edition. You are licensed to use this for your personal use. If you want to make multiple copies for use at rehearsals, a Script Copying Licence is required in addition...
  • Script Copying Licence (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    £29.99 Script Copying Licence (Let's Be 'Avin' You!)
    If you've bought an e-script or a printed script, this licence permits you to make copies of it for rehearsal use.  PLEASE NOTE: The licence will be e-mailed to you as an A4 pdf file - it is not instantly downloadable...
  • Royalty Quotation Form
    £0.00 Royalty Quotation Form
    The rights to perform and record for all the titles in our catalogue (with exceptions) are managed by Stagescripts Ltd. A royalty fee must be paid: whether the play is presented for charity or for...
  • Royalties (Let's Be 'Avin' You)
    £1.00 Royalties (Let's Be 'Avin' You)
    This is the online method of paying your Fixed Fee royalties for this play. You may also pay by other methods. Instructions (please read these carefully BEFORE making a payment) Please enter your Quotation Reference Number...