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Comedy

A Family Affair by Christopher Owen

(1m, 2f), 45 mins Prize Winner
The comedy is set in Dilys and Brian’s dining room in their house in a small town in Wales. They and Dilys’ sister Miriam are having Sunday lunch. Dilys and Miriam are sisters who have always been jealous of each other especially where men are concerned. Brian, Dilys’ husband, is caught in the middle. However, it turns out he has a few surprises up his sleeve.

Comedy Play Script: 'A Town Like Deadwood' by Tony Layton

A Town Like Dead Wood by Tony Layton

(14m, 16f, 7m/f) - but plenty of scope for doubling, 60 mins
A pastiche of 'Under Milk Wood' in which we see the life of the town reflected through cameos of various characters. The brief glimpses we have of their lives is enough to leave us with the clear impression that recession is having its effect on the community. However, as long as you have a group of people holding on to the remnants of their society, you will always have intrigue, complex personal relationships, sex … in fact everything you find in life’s comedy.

Accommodation Haunted by Alan Richardson

(1m, 3f) 40 mins
When Brian finds himself on an unexpected visit to a property letting (or real estate) agency for ghosts, he realises he is encountering a death changing experience. But even in the next life, you can still have a laugh and a spot of romance.
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Bedlam by Jack Felton

(2m, 2f) 50 mins
A middle aged couple, George and Suzie, struggle with an ordinary, everyday event, in this case buying a new mattress. The ordering and paying last week was easy … now comes the hard part, waiting at home for the delivery man to arrive. When George finds out they’ve delivered it next door, his blood pressure takes a turn for the worse as he alternates between frustration and rage in his dealings with the supplier to get it redelivered. A common problem, experienced by most of us!

Comedy Play Script: 'Beggar Your Neighbour' by Ron Nicol

Beggar Your Neighbour by Ron Nicol

(2m, 2f) 50 mins
Mrs Freebody has copied every detail of Mrs Lightfoot’s living room - or has she? Then Mrs Lightfoot reports the disappearance of her husband and twelve children. Mrs Freebody is responsible - or is she? Constables Boulter and Cadbury investigate, and are just about to make an arrest for kidnapping, body snatching and mass murder when the truth is revealed.
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Bright Lights by Alan Richardson

(1m, 2f) 40 mins
Renowned critic Gerald Thornwood is feared in theatreland. His vitriolic reviews can close a show and he exploits this power by routinely seducing young actresses on his promise of a favourable mention. But on the verge of another conquest, he’s confronted by an ex-actress who paid the price of spurning his advances. He’s been lured into a sting, but Gerald is not easily stung. Caustic exchanges ensue as truths, lies and revelations rebound in a bitch-fest with three substantial and rewarding roles.
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Comedy Play Script: 'Bunkered' by Phil Mansell

Bunkered by Phil Mansell

(3m, 2f) 40-45 mins
Business is bad at Tom’s run-down crazy golf course and the Igloo Ice Cream where his friend Kath works. All the holidaymakers are going to the spanking new pleasure beach at the other end of the bay. All looks lost until ageing hippy dropout and sandwich board man Dylan comes to the rescue.
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Comedy Play Script: 'Butter Side Up' by Maggie Dealey

Butter Side Up by Maggie Dealey

(2m, 3f) 55mins
Breakfast is served at Chuckfarthing House. Which is tough when you have hangover and you’re the one who has to serve it. Will the organic grapefruit be worth the wait? Will the newly-weds ever make it down to breakfast? Will the past always come back to haunt you? Find out in this poignant comedy.

 Comedy Play Script: 'CCTV' by Derek Webb

CCTV by Derek Webb

(3m, 1f)
In the security control room of The Oaks shopping centre,  Rich is coming on duty for the night shift, relieving Alex and Jane, two other guards.  It is, it seems a ordinary evening at The Oaks – until the arrival of Keith, a robber of quite breathtaking incompetence, intent on robbing the shopping centre...  Easily staged with some extremely funny scenes, CCTV has been a big hit in one-act festivals. 
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE 

Comedy Play Script: 'Celebulite' by Derek Webb

Celebulite by Derek Webb

(1m, 3f)
We live in a celebrity-obsessed society. So, when minor celebrities measure their success on how many times they have appeared on a reality TV show, and how often they are recognised in the street, what must it be like for them to lose their looks overnight? In 'Celebulite', we meet Victoria Ingram-Brown – who wakes up one morning to discover she has aged 20 years – and Russell, who has put on five stone. 
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE 

Comedy Play Script: 'Chairs' by Ron Nicol

Chairs by Ron Nicol

(6f, 1m/f) 35-40 mins
Marion, an enthusiastic young lecturer, is determined to foster better communication among the college staff. She enlists the help of her colleague Kath to re-arrange the chairs in the staff-room, hoping it will encourage the staff to talk to each other. Meanwhile, long-serving lecturer Mrs Douglas and newly-appointed Tessa become involved in a feud about where each should sit. Moving the chairs has unforeseen consequences; feelings are hurt and tempers rise, Kath gives up her job, and Mrs Douglas has a break-down. For some people, insignificant things can have an importance which others don’t always appreciate.

Connection Failed by Jack Llewellyn

(3m, 3f) 60 mins
The internet gave us social networking; our lives played out to invited guests. This play focuses on the lives of young professionals surviving the dating game, balancing relationships in full view of 'friends'. Everyone knows who you've poked!

Crazy Horses by Mark Norman

(7m, 2f, 2m/f) 60 mins Also available as a two act version
Staging a coup against God is all very well, but only if the people staging it know what they’re doing... which the Four Horsepeople of the Apocalypse don’t. To  make matters worse, Satan proves not to be quite the evil genius they were expecting and  there’s more to God than meets the eye …

Comedy Play Script: 'Dirty Business' by Derek Webb

Dirty Business by Derek Webb

(1m, 2f) 50 min version
Cuts are on their way big time at the local County Council as it struggles to find ways to meet Government spending targets. Josie and Angela are cleaning the office of one of the Council's Department Heads one evening when they come across a file which seems to show that their jobs are on the line too. They also discover some incriminating evidence which seems to show the same Department Head is guilty of marital infidelity. Armed with this, they set out to try and persuade him to change his mind about some of the planned cuts.  But not everything goes quite according to plan... 


Exit Right, Running by Tony Layton

(4m, 3f) 45 mins Prize Winner
England in 1642 sees two actors fleeing from persecution as Royalists by Cromwell's men. As they try to meet their friend who will help them escape, they run into two 'ladies of the night' who recognise them as actors. Will they hold their tongues? Can they be bought? What revelation is one of the actors forced to make to the other?

Comedy Play Script: 'Flumes And Fumes' by John Bartlett

Flumes And Fumes by John Bartlett

(5m, 6f) 60 mins
Madcap mayhem, debauchery, lust and mistaken identity abound in this Commedia-style play set in 'Floaters Leisure Centre' just prior to an inspection by the local councillor, Mr Pantalone. Isabella, the Centre's Manageress, is in a flap; however her dysfunctional staff are not perturbed in the slightest. Add a good measure of lunacy to this theatrical pot of nonsense and you have all the ingredients for a crazy rollercoaster ride that builds and builds into an insane, ludicrous, climax that would not be amiss within the walls of Bedlam!

One Act Comedy Play Script: 'Flushed' by Ron Nicol

Flushed by Ron Nicol

(3f) 40-45 mins
It’s a singles night, and Jan and Meg are taking a break in the Ladies Room. Jan is criticising Tara, unaware that Tara is hiding in one of the toilet cubicles. When Tara’s presence is revealed a fight ensues and Jan confesses the reason for her jealousy. Then Meg discovers that the door to the room seems to be locked, and the succeeding series of mishaps and misfortunes ruins Jan’s appearance and assurance. Tara eventually manages to open the door, but on the threshold of escape they find that Meg is trapped in one of the cubicles.

Comedy Play Script: 'Gilly's Gem' by Sandy Taylor

Gilly's Gem by Sandy Taylor

(1m, 4f) 45 mins
Gold digger Toby thinks he is on to a good thing when he amorously cultivates the attentions of rich and independent Gilly. But Milly, the live-in cleaner, and her friend, prove to be invaluable in finding a way of getting rid of him without upsetting the boss. Regular favourite as a festival entry.


Comedy Play Script: 'Losing It' by Derek Webb

Losing It by Derek Webb

(1m, 1f) 40 mins
Jack is an actor who's lost for words. Now he's also lost his leading lady – and the way things are going, he's also losing the plot and he feels he might be on the verge of losing his mind too.  Things start off well enough until it's clear that Jack's other actor has not turned up. His attempt to keep the play going soon gets too much for one member of the audience who begins remonstrating with him then gets sucked into appearing in the play herself... 
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Lucky Dip by Stuart Price

(2m, 1f) 60 mins
Meet two losers, Doug and Fran. You name it, they will compete for it - holidays, cars, spending vouchers, TVs, electrical goods and cash, cash, cash. But their drive for tangible reward masks their inability to relate to the rest of the human race until, finally, they compete against each other. The prize they win this time though, is each other's hearts.

Comedy Play Script: 'Man's View' by Derek Webb

Man's View by Derek Webb

(1m, 3f)
Three women, Carol, Ann and Judy, are having a reunion in a wine bar one evening. It’s the first time they’ve been together since leaving school. Carol is keen to impress the others. She is married to a successful publisher. What she fails to disclose is that he is a publisher of porn magazines. As more drink is consumed, secrets they have kept hidden for years emerge with disastrous consequences.

Mr Perfect by Alan Richardson

(1m, 2f) 35 mins
Fashion conscious and career driven, Liz has everything she wants... except a man. Her lifestyle demands the best, so why should she settle for less than Mr Perfect? Does he exist or is she chasing fantasy? A wickedly irreverent glimpse at the beguiling world of blind dates, personal ads, introduction agencies and single clubs
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Comedy Play Script: 'Murder At The Cathedral' by Ron Nicol

Murder At The Cathedral by Ron Nicol

(3m, 3f) 50 mins
Henry King is furious that his Cathedral Players haven’t won anything at any drama festival since the defection of leading actor Tom Becket to the rival Priest’s Gate Drama Club three years ago. If things don’t improve, it could be the final curtain for Cathedral. Sally Knight and Toby Barron decide to do something about it, and Tom Becket disappears. Did Knight and Barron murder the Priest to please King? Is it curtains for Becket?
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Comedy Play Script: 'Now You See Me, Now You Don't' by Jane Lockyer Willis

Now You See Me, Now You Don't by Jane Lockyer Willis

(2m, 2f) 20 mins
Lionel and Rosemary are a long-married island couple have their portrait of Queen Victoria stolen one night by another islander. The picture has graced a wall in their home for many years and it's loss starts Rosemary bickering about Lionel's 'hallucinations' (he talks to Queen Victoria). When the thief reveals himself, they take the opportunity to consider whether to re-hang or replace the picture (ie a relationship metaphor for 'stay as we are' or 'start anew').
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Comedy Play Script: 'Poor Yorick' by Phil Mansell

Poor Yorick by Phil Mansell

(3m, 2f) 40-45 mins
Yorick the jester is not dead – he’s on the road dying a death as he pioneers a new kind of comedy called stand-up. When this fails, he is persuaded by his tavern wench girlfriend Bess to return to Elsinore and get his old job back. But when he arrives he finds there have been many changes, and he becomes embroiled in Hamlet’s plans for revenge.

Revolution Society by Sarah Power

(4m, 3f) 50 mins  Prize Winner
This play was the winning play for 2012/13 in ‘FFShorts’ an international writing festival run by the Yvonne Arnaud Youth Theatre. It's a comedy about being young and feeling frustrated with society, and then feeling frustrated at what a cliché being young and frustrated is. This political comedy is the story of a student Revolution Society, an extracurricular group annoyed at the system and wanting to change things, only without a concrete idea of what they want to change and how to go about it. 

Rock 'n Soul by Freddie Jacobsen

(5m, 4f) 40-45 mins
Ever wondered what happens to a dry, drug-addicted, destructive, egocentric rock star when he arrives at God's golden gates? Of course you have! Infamous rock sensation Ed Brash has coarse manners, no cigarettes and just one week to prove to St. Peter that he deserves to be in heaven. But for someone who only remembers that ‘Charity’ is the name of a groupie he once slept with, and with Anne, the old-fashioned angel itching to catch him out at his first slip-up, Ed’s quest to prevent his eternal damnation could prove to be more difficult than getting tickets for his band’s sold out gigs.

Comedy Play Script: 'Roy Brown - Bard Of Margate' by Derek Webb

Roy Brown: Bard Of Margate by Derek Webb

(2m, 2f) 60mins
Roy’s back with his own inimitable take on Shakespeare. Roy decides to help out his mate Kev by producing Macbeth for Kev’s newly launched pub theatre: at the Shakespeare’s Head in Margate.  But this is no ordinary Macbeth.  According to Roy, his version is not only better than the original, but he’s cut out ‘all the boring stuff’ and made it a lot sharper and much, much shorter, and with a lot more jokes. Characteristically, he describes his latest play in one word: Awesome.

Comedy Play Script: 'Roy Brown - Untitled' by Derek Webb

Roy Brown: Untitled by Derek Webb

(2m, 2f) 50 min version
Roy Brown is a man always on the lookout for an easy way to make a living.  And modern art looks just the ticket... Seeing how much money there is to be made, and seeing how easy it looks to him, Roy reckons turning out a few pieces himself will be rather a doddle. Needless to say, encouraged by his friend Jane (and ably hindered by his mate Rhys) things don't quite go to plan.
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE


Roy Brown And The Red Baron by Derek Webb

(2m, 2f) 50 mins
Roy Brown is a man on a mission: to make as much money as possible with the minimum effort. So, when his friend, Jane, enthuses him to research his family history, he discovers something of mind-boggling importance (to him, at least). It turns out that the WW1 flying ace who shot down the Red Baron was none other than Captain Roy Brown! And who else could this be but Roy's great, great uncle? Armed with this information Roy sees a future of fame and fortune stretching ahead of him... maybe.

Rude Awakenings by Nicolas Ridley

(4f) 45 mins
Everything normally runs so smoothly at the Little Gissing Art Group’s ‘Annual Exhibition and Competition’ in the village hall, but this year it’s all going wrong. There are mishaps, misunderstandings, all sorts of complications and some really very shocking revelations!  ‘Rude Awakenings’ is a comedy – with a tear or two – that revolves around the loves, lives and losses of four very different women. “A perfect piece ... captivating, funny and really quite moving.”

Sharks In The Custard by Tony Layton

(4f, 3m/f) 45 minsPrize Winner
The cleaning ladies in the municipal art gallery enjoy their work, but rumours of government cut backs threaten to upset their cosy regime. In the face of adversity they come up with a solution that not only secures their futures and helps to save the gallery, but also ensures that their lives will never be quite the same again.

Comedy Play Script: 'Slap And Tickle At The Pig And Whistle' by John Bartlett

Slap And Tickle At The Pig And Whistle by John Bartlett

(5m, 3f) 60mins
A story concerning the misappropriation of private love letters belonging to Isabella and Lelio and the debauched selfish interest of Pulcinella, the publican of 'The Pig and Whistle'. The crazy antics of Arlecchino, Colombina's quick thinking paramour and the thwarted, elicit love affair between Isabella and Lelio, all add up to a rollicking, uproarious comedy that crashes like a comic avalanche to it's ultimate conclusion.

Comedy Play Script: 'Soap Soup' by Tony Layton

Soap Soup by Tony Layton

(4m, 3f) 50 mins
A surreal comedy about Sammy, a scriptwriter who writes a TV soap, and becomes too involved with his characters. They attempt to influence the development of his weekly storyline, and when the script editor decides to kill off a few characters, Sammy and the characters in his head, take to the bottle in distress. Eventually, Hollywood beckons, with all the usual attractions of wife, kids and personal trainer, but will it be short lived?

One Act Comedy Play Script: 'Something to Hide' by Bryan Darby

Something To Hide by Bryan Darby

(1m, 5f) approx 60 mins
In this comedy of preconceptions (which is ideal for Ladies’ Drama Groups) Avis has that feeling that something about Peggy is just not quite right. She raises the subject with Phyllida, the Manager of the charity shop where she works, and it appears that she, also, feels that Peggy does not ‘fit in’. Of course, it isn’t just a matter of class. This is, after all, a charity shop and charity begins... But, something just has to be done when they find hard evidence to support their suspicions. That’s when the police become involved and their cosy world of Earl Grey and Vienna Whirls is never likely to be the same again. But then, we all have something to hide. Don’t we?

Stay'd For by L J McTuggle

(3m, 1f) 50 mins Prize Winner
Are occupational skills and religious beliefs any use when an emergency occurs?  A teacher, an unpublished writer, a telecoms salesman and a dental clerk journey from Uxbridge to help a relative in Malaysia move his luxury yacht. It’s a comedy but not a farce: it asks relevant questions of our four protagonists who, for once in their lives, have truly strayed outside their comfort zones.

Stitched Up by Robin Johnson

(4m, 1f or 3m, 1f with doubling) 60 mins
Victor Frankenstein is recovering after his mental breakdown following the creation of his monster and with the benefit of hindsight, he sees that he was definitely stitched up. This comic take on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein presents the young doctor considering his actions, pointing out plot holes in the original text and expressing disgust for the multiple films that followed the initial tale.

Comedy Play Script: 'Thank You For Protesting' by Paul Adam Levy

Thank You For Protesting by Paul Adam Levy

(1m, 3f) 25 mins
When a local government worker is tasked with replacing 'a thing’ on a street with another ‘thing', a resident sets out on what she thinks is the simple task of stopping him. What the unprepared resident discovers is a complex set of rules on protesting and housing policy. A high-tempo comedy on the subject of a citizen's right to protest and the cost of housing.

The 19th Hole by Tony Layton

(4m, 5f) 50 mins
In the modest club house of a quiet country golf club, one of the members, Freddie, has a problem which is putting him off his game. His wife, Muriel, appears to have run away unexpectedly leaving him to cope with the embarrassment of it all with his fellow golfers. Eventually, Muriel turns up and what she reveals shakes the club to the core. Things will never be quite the same again.

The Diaries Of Adam And Eve by Elton Townend Jones

(1m, 1f) 60 mins
Adapted from Mark Twain's original short stories by Elton Townend Jones. It’s the basis of every love story, every romantic ballad, and every sentimental poem ever written; man meets woman, they disagree, they resolve their differences, they fall in love. The play explores, in a very accessible way, companionship, its challenges and consolations, and has some really moving moments in among the laughs and smiles.

The Ladybirds by Tony Layton

(9f) 45 minsPrize Winner
The village drama group has lost all their men. The future looks bleak until a bright, young director agrees to help them out. The suggested solution at first shocks the straight-laced villagers, but then becomes the vehicle which gets the cash flowing back into the groups desperate bank account.

The Spy Who Came In For The Phone by Alan Richardson

(3m, 3f or 2m, 4f) 45 mins
It's the swinging sixties. Newly-weds Chris and Sally Taylor are in the process of moving into their new flat in London. Ron, a telephone engineer with a passion for paperwork is installing a new telephone, but the Taylors hadn't ordered a new phone, and once the phone is connected and they start getting some very strange calls, they soon wish they didn't have this one. They encounter a glamorous spy, not to mention calls from Dracula, John Wayne and a yellow zebra, and their ordinary day becomes crazier by the minute. An absurd play guaranteed to please everybody who hates filling out forms.

The Village Hall by John Bartlett

(9m, 8f) Four 30 min linked one-act plays (or play 2, 3 or 4 in combination)
That hallowed institution - the Village Hall, scene of unparalleled local country dramas is the setting for these four comedy plays. Each play stands up in its own right, but the quartet could be played together in many combinations. Each play features one or two main characters and their particular use of the Hall, a Jumble Sale, the Amateur Dramatics group, the scout's Gang Show and the Wedding Reception.

The Worst Day Of My Life by Alan Richardson

(1m, 4f) 45 mins
Charlie Brown's day in hospital begins very well. His devoted wife is at his bedside; a scene of conjugal bliss, that is until another female visitor arrives. When she reveals that she is also Mrs Brown, Charlie's got some explaining to do. As his previously secret life is hilariously disentangled, a third female visitor arrives, also claiming to be Mrs Brown. You'd think Charlie's day couldn't get much worse - but it does.
PRE-PUBLICATION PERUSAL SCRIPT AVAILABLE

Comedy Play Script: 'Time For Ben' by Tony Layton

Time For Ben by Tony Layton

(3m, 3f) 50 mins
A highly unusual play in that the title role has no words to speak. Ben is a disabled teenager, severely handicapped and wheelchair-bound, having his eighteenth birthday complete with visiting relatives. Mark, Ben's father gets annoyed with Ben's uncle who doesn't appreciate both the sacrifices Mark has made, nor Ben's sense of humour which shines out like a beacon through the family quarrels.

Vanessa And The Vanguard by Anton Krueger

(2m, 1f) 45 mins Prize Winner
The action for this unlikely comedy occurs in the sultry, smoky setting of a private and intensely personal investigation into the wherabouts of a missing person. The client is a remarkably beautiful woman, however, instead of the suave, gravel-voiced detective we may have come to expect, we encounter Orton T. Norton - a frenetic, obsessive, and somewhat eccentric private eye.

Where There's A Will by Tony Layton

(4m, 3f) approx 45 mins
Reading a deceased relative's will is not easy at the best of times, and that's especially true if there are certain clauses in it that have to be met before the money can be distributed. The question is, have the relatives succeeded in meeting the requirements? If they have, was it all above board? Does that matter though, if there are other stipulations to be revealed that upset the apple cart?

Wild Allegations by David K Barnes & David Leon

(3m, 3f) 60 mins
Theo, a cool seductress, and Alex, a vengeful nobody, conspire to destroy Matthew, a rising star of stage and screen.  Why is this, when Theo is Matthew’s girlfriend and Alex is his brother? What could Matthew possibly have done to them both to make them turn on him? Slick, cynical and very funny, an emotionally intricate and wholly engaging dramatic comedy about self-deception and how we perceive those close to us.