Loading... Please wait...


Whose Crime Is It Anyway?

by Jenny-Alice Thompson

Comedic Drama Play Script: 'Whose Crime Is It Anyway?' by Jenny-Alice Thompson


Dracula arrives at his former home, Whitby Abbey, as a guest at a dinner party. Also in attendance are Frankenstein's Monster, Fagin, Nancy, Elizabeth Bennett and Miss Havisham. None of the guests know who  has invited them or why they are gathered. Intriguingly almost all of them seem to know the maid, the saucy Ivana.  Moran, the butler, reveals that  they have been gathered together in an attempt to stop the schemes of Professor Moriarty, who has been blackmailing them all. It is also revealed that the cook, Wanda, was formerly in Dracula's fiancee's employ and despises the count for firing her. Moriarty, halts Wanda's attempts to poison Dracula and invites them all into the study to discuss why their business.

In the study, Moriarty reveals that it was in fact Moran who sent out the invitations. Moriarty expresses his displeasure that they have discovered his identity. However, now that they are all gathered he will allow them one chance to end his vile schemes. He provides them with weapons and challenges them to kill him when the lights are turned out. Moriarty goads them, insisting that they are all too cowardly to attempt murder. The lights are turned off and a slap, a scream and a gunshot is heard. When the lights come back up again, it is revealed that Dracula has been slapped by Frankenstein, whom he mistook for Nancy in the dark, there is a bullet hole in a piece of conveniently placed scenery and Moriarty has apparently been staked. The guests automatically blame each other before Moran draws attention to the impending arrival of the police and the corpse on the floor. They hand the weapons to the only person who wasn't present at the time of the murder, Ivana, and split up to find the front door key. Once they have left, Moriarty gets back to his feet and exists. Shortly afterwards, Wanda rushes in screaming and collapses on the floor with a knife in her back.

Moran and the guests re-enter to discover Wanda dead on the floor, Miss Havisham blames Ivana much to Frankenstein’s distress. Moran explains that Ivana is also most likely dead and he Dracula and Elizabeth discover Ivana’s apparently lifeless body in the hall next to a very definitely dead Moriarty. Moran proclaims that he can solve the murders revealing that it was Fagin who fired the gunshot, Nancy who staked Moriarty, Miss Havisham who killed Moriarty and Dracula who killed Wanda (her cooking was just that bad). It is also revealed that Frankenstein’s monster had accidentally strangled Ivana when he was kissing her. Fortunately, it is revealed that she had just fainted and they are reunited. Moran is revealed to be Sherlock Holmes, doing freelance work for the Fictional Investigation Bureau, under the order of Elizabeth Bennett, head of F.I.B. Miss Havisham and Count Dracula are arrested by Inspector Lestrade, Nancy is taken into protective custody and Fagin is allowed to walk free... at least for the time being.


45 mins approx


(7m, 6f)
  •   Moran - a secretive and authoritative Butler (m)
  •   Dracula - now fallen on hard times, forced to sell his ancestral home, flamboyant, charismatic and intelligent (m)
  •   Frankenstein - not be the sharpest tool but not heartless, adorable, misguided, needs acceptance (m)
  •   Fagin - the sly and extremely materialistic leader of a gang of underage criminals (m)
  •   Nancy - cockney accent, passionate, kind-hearted, spirited, the original tart with a heart (f)
  •   Elizabeth - Elizabeth Bennett is Jane Austen’s classic heroine, witty and vivacious (f)
  •   Miss Havisham - psychotic, obsessive, jilted at the altar, cruel, judgmental and bitter (f)
  •   Ivana - Professor Moriarty’s maid, a saucy character, wears impractical outfits for cleaning (f)
  •   Moriarty - smooth talking, intelligent, arrogant and manipulative, a criminal genius (m)
  •   Lestrade - dedicated, professional, but always slightly one step behind the crime geniuses (f)
  •   Wanda - a disgruntled cook, her cooking is foul and her murder, even more so (f)
  •   Watson - a loyal and dependable friend to Sherlock Holmes (m)
  •   Lucy - Dracula’s betrayed fiancée, her appearance is brief but painful (f)
   Moriarty, Lestrade and Watson can be played by the same actor
   Wanda and Lucy can be played by the same actress

  • Preview E-Script (Whose Crime Is It Anyway?)
    £0.00 Preview E-Script (Whose Crime Is It Anyway?)
    A free preview script containing a significant part of the full script and provided as a pdf file sized for A4 paper.
  • E-Script (Whose Crime Is It Anyway?)
    £3.50 E-Script (Whose Crime Is It Anyway?)
    The full script provided as a pdf file for A4 size paper. You have a maximum of three attempts to download the file which will expire after 30 days. You are licensed to print this once for your personal use. If you want to...
  • Printed Script (Whose Crime is It Anyway?)
    £6.05 Printed Script (Whose Crime is It Anyway?)
    A printed script provided as an A5 paperback acting edition. You are licensed to use this for your personal use. If you want to make multiple copies for use at rehearsals, a Script Copying Licence is required in addition...
  • Script Copying Licence
    £0.00 Script Copying Licence
    If you've bought an e-script or a printed script, this licence permits you to make copies of it for rehearsal use. The price will be shown after you select the title required. PLEASE NOTE: The licence will be e-mailed to...
  • Royalty Quotation Form (1A+)
    Royalty Quotation Form (1A+)
    The rights to perform and record for all the titles in our catalogue are managed by Stagescripts Ltd. You should not assume that a licence to perform will always be granted. Please request a quotation at the earliest...