by Simon Rayner Davis

Synopsis

Stan Dandy-Liver, the Chief Inspector of OFSTED (Office for Standards in the Espionage Department), and the criminal gang NORTEE’s (National Organisation of Ridiculous Torture and Evil Extortion) primary target has been taken hostage by their arch criminal rivals, the NICE (Nationally Incompetent Criminal Element) gang right under the noses of M-Hi-5.

The Head of M-Hi-5, ‘A’ calls in her most famous Double 0 agent Jimmy Blond in the hope that he can rescue Dandy-Liver from the clutches of both criminal gangs.

Having traced his whereabouts to the Scottish Glens, Blond is despatched to the MacHilton Hotel which is run by a right pair of Scottish Glenns, who as luck would have it are holding a Mystery Moustache Ball that same evening.

But with everyone wearing moustaches will Blond see through these impenetrable disguises and grab his man?  Or will the criminal gangs triumph and manage to blow up Blond and his fellow M-Hi-5 agents who have also turned up?  And having just arrived why has ‘O’, M-Hi-5’s top techie arrived with a briefcase full of underpants?

Duration

Characters

(8m, 6f)

• Miss Funny-Money - personal secretary to A at M-Hi-5 (f)
• Jimmy Blond - double 0 secret agent (m)
• A - top dog at M-Hi-5 (f)
• O - top techie at M-Hi-5 (m)
• Darling - top surveillance at M-Hi-5 (m)
• Glenn McGlenn MacGlenn - of the Scottish Glens (m)
• Glenn McGlenda MacGlenn - also of the Scottish Glens (f)
• Mister Small - the Head of NICE (m)
• Stan Dandyliver - Chief Inspector of OFSTED (m)
• Tattoo - a NICE but unsightly bodyguard (m)
• Flirtatious - a NICE girl (f)
• Mister Big - the Head of NORTEE (m)
• Scaramouche - a NORTEE boy who bears a striking resemblance to Darling (m)
• Audacious - a very NORTEE girl (f)
• Domino - receptionist at the McHilton Hotel (f)