Synopsis

It’s been busy in the week before Christmas at Tollerbay shopping centre, but at last the late-night shoppers have gone home and night security guard Connie can get on with her checks, as well as finding time to decorate the centre’s rather small Christmas tree. However, walking along between the now-shuttered shops, she comes across an old tramp asleep on a bench.

He is reluctant to move from his warm and comfy surroundings, especially as his legs seem unable to support his weight. Connie suspects the near-empty wine bottle under the bench might have something to do with this, but, despite her choice of employment, she has a kind heart and allows him time to recover while she gets to work on the decorations, with his help. Their conversation turns to the theatre when she discovers Harry is, in fact, a former music hall comedian and pantomime Dame fallen on hard times, while she enjoys engaging in amateur dramatics.

She tells him she is a single mother with a seven-year-old son who adores attending the annual professional panto in town, but is disappointed that this has now been cancelled because of budget cuts. She has an idea - what if she could persuade her amdram group to take it on? Of course, it would work far better if it featured an accomplished Dame who could also direct, but Harry seems reluctant… until she happens to mention her grandmother’s real surname which for some reason persuades him to change his mind.

They decide to have a go, and, having some time on their hands now, they have a practise. Seeing that Harry owns a pair of purple gloves, Connie recollects a skit in a recent panto where the Dame sang ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’, but substituted everyday objects instead of the lords a-leaping, ladies dancing, etc. For instance, two purple gloves can replace two turtle doves and so on, and the play reaches its comic climax with them dressing up and using objects around them.

Easy to stage, ‘Two Purple Gloves’ has proved popular with Christmas audiences as well as winning the occasional Best Actor award in amdram festivals.

Duration

Characters