Loading... Please wait...

Our office is open for one day per week until further notice
and we are currently unable to fulfil orders for Printed Scripts and items despatched on USB Sticks.

We've been open throughout the pandemic dealing with its ramifications, and we're going to take a break until things change regarding theatre.
All aspects of our operation will be affected:
Quotations, Licensing, Sales, and General Enquiries. Please be patient if we take a long time to respond.


Two Bodies And A Bottle Of Sauce

    by Ron Nicol



Comedy Play Script: 'Two Bodies And A Bottle Of Sauce' by Ron Nicol

Cassiopeia Wrigglesworth-Bottomley-Smythe is the leading light of the local drama group, always demanding the leading role, no matter how unsuitable. Her husband Bertram is director of the group, but can’t cope with Cassiopeia off-stage or on, constantly being accused of having a stream of mistresses. Cassiopeia suspects that neighbour Anastasia might be Bertram’s latest paramour, and casts her as the body, hoping Bertram might give himself away. Unfortunately, cleaner Molly finds the make-believe corpse beforehand and calls the police.

When Detective Inspector Whelping and Constable Shortley arrive, Cassiopeia is afraid of becoming a laughing stock in the local village, and she and Bertram try to bluff things out instead of revealing the true state of affairs.

Whelping and Shortley prove to be an ineffectual detecting team, and truth and invention become blurred in the misdirection and misunderstandings which follow. Whelping discovers a trail of tomato sauce near the body and decides that it’s a vital clue. Anastasia’s had enough of being a dead body and stalks off, but her disappearance isn’t noticed.

Aspiring actress Esmeralda arrives, convincing Whelping that a French hunchback and an exotic dancer have jointly committed the crime. Whelping sends Shortley to find some more clues. Anastasia returns as the body but soon leaves again, and her place is taken by Esmeralda. Whelping concludes that a serial killer is on the loose.

Shortley returns with a bottle of tomato sauce, which convinces Whelping that Molly is the murderer. To prevent Molly’s arrest, Bertram owns up to the deception and reveals that no crime has been committed. Whelping eventually leaves with Constable Shortley.

Esmeralda returns, but is sent packing by Cassiopeia, who suspects that she’s yet another of Bertram’s mistresses. Molly arrives to ask Bertram about the mushroom soup he’s asked her to prepare for supper, concerned that there might be toadstools in the recipe. Bertram assures her that all is well, but he and Anastasia have murder in mind and persuade Cassiopeia to taste the soup.


45 mins approx


(2m, 4f, 1m/f)

  • Cassiopeia
  • Bertram - her husband
  • Anastasia - their next-door neighbour
  • Molly - their cleaner
  • Detective Inspector Whelping
  • Constable Shortley - (m/f)
  • Esmeralda - an aspiring actress


  • Perusal Script (Two Bodies And A Bottle Of Sauce)
    £0.00 Perusal Script (Two Bodies And A Bottle Of Sauce)
    In advance of the formal publication, we offer you an advance, pre-publication version, of the script. It is provided in full, as originally received from the playwright, but without having been proof read and with no...