"It is well worthy of being performed by any society and I would love to see it entertaining audiences throughout the UK" Chris Ingram, NODA President 2015/16

Synopsis

The show begins on the busy streets of London on July 29th 1981, as crowds expectantly await the wedding coach of Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer. Later at a street party Cathy, Sharon and Lisa are discussing their idea of the perfect husband.  Listening to their conversation is Cathy's mum Vi, her Auntie Pat and her Gran.  The ladies tell Cathy and her friends the awful truth about Men! Cathy thinks she has found a Prince in her new boyfriend Tony but he has stood her up... again! Danny, Cathy’s next door neighbour, offers to take her out instead. She declines and goes to wait by the phone. Danny has secretly been in love with Cathy for as long as he can remember. 

Tony's father Ron, owner of Majestic Piles, a carpet warehouse where Tony and Danny both work, has arranged to make a TV ad, on the cheap, with the help of his brother in law Charlie. Pat's husband Albert, the long suffering foreman, has been charged with the extra job of choreographer!  After the shoot Tony is left in charge. He is visited by Mr Temple and his henchmen Curly and Slim. Tony’s gambling habit has got him into serious trouble and Mr Temple gives him an ultimatum. After he has left Ron tells Tony that he refuses to bail him out any longer.  

Back at work in Vi's Salon Cathy isn't feeling too well. She makes her excuses and heads off to Boots to get something for her stomach. Secretly she believes she might be pregnant after her first night alone with Tony.

Cathy is hoping that her Auntie Pat, who is a beautician in Boots, isn't at work. Sadly she's out of luck. Whilst trying to decide what to do Danny appears. She confesses and he offers to go and get the kit for her. Pat is hard at work selling her wares to a shop full of ladies all hoping to hold back the ravages of time.  She spots Danny and unsuccessfully flirts with him. He tries to quietly buy the kit and, after much embarrassment and grilling by several shoppers, escapes.

Cathy is waiting for the pregnancy test to work, as she waits she imagines how her life might change depending on the result.

Tony takes Cathy out for a romantic meal so that he can ask her for money from her trust fund but before he can ask her she tells him she is pregnant. Tony decides to propose and suggests a quick marriage knowing that, once they are married, he will have access to her bank account. Cathy agrees and the whole restaurant celebrates.

Cathy tells Vi the news about the baby but swears her to secrecy.  Later, When she mentions that Tony wants them to be married within a month, Sharon and Lisa can't see how this can be done.  Gran announces that the women of the Price family have faced far greater challenges. 

Cathy and Tony have to meet the vicar for a talk about the birds and the bees.  After the talk Tony makes his excuses and exits leaving Danny to cover for him at the Wedding rehearsal. Danny asks Cathy if she is sure about the marriage.  The ladies all meet at Pat's house for a final fitting before heading out on the Hen night. They discuss Cathy's poor taste in men.  Afterwards they have a little surprise in store for Cathy.

Tony, Danny and their workmates meet at Quaffers nightclub. Tony, always on the lookout for a new conquest, bets he can take home two 'posh birds' who are in the club.  Danny confronts Tony about his infidelity and learns the truth about his reasons for marrying Cathy. Danny says he cannot be Best Man but Tony blackmails him into going through with it. In the Ladies, Cathy overhears the 'posh birds' discussing Tony. Cathy and Danny are left alone to contemplate their fates. 

Danny tries to speak to Cathy to tell her what he has discovered but can’t get to see her. He confides in Gran, who tells him he has to speak out.

Everyone is assembled for the wedding. Danny finally finds the courage to speak and Cathy questions Tony about his true feelings. Tony, realising he has been found out, flees followed by Mr Temple's henchmen. Cathy thanks Danny for saving her from making a big mistake and admits that perhaps there is no Mr Darcy in Dagenham. Danny tells her that she just has to keep looking, but not very far.

Characters

Songs

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