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Brave Hearts & Baggage

    by Jan Moran Neil


Black Comedy Play Script: 'Brave Hearts & Baggage' by Jan Moran Neil

Justin does ‘something in the city’. His pregnant wife Joy is bank rolling Sunday, a cleaning practitioner and her husband Ollie who is landscaping Justin’s garden. Ollie is an out of work actor with hypochondria issues. Jeremy is employed by Joy as an organic vegetable practitioner.

Ollie has a one night stand with a woman called Woman who has relationship issues and owns a boutique. Woman is having an affair with Justin and is also pregnant. Unknowingly Joy finds Woman’s business card and spends copiously in the boutique as Woman says "your husband has phoned to say you can buy anything in this shop".

Ollie who has high hopes of a season at Frinton-on-Sea as he hasn’t worked since his swim-on role in the film ‘Titanic’, frequents Woman’s boutique. To make ends meet, his wife Sunday, who suspects Ollie of ‘foul play’ applies for a job in Woman’s boutique.

Justin is confronted by his boss for insider trading. Faced with prison, debt and two unborn children on the way, he takes refuge in Sunday during one of her light cleaning sessions. Having overheard Justin’s phone call with his boss, she asks for a pay increase. Justin strikes out on his credit card happy wife Joy. To brighten things up Jeremy arranges a pre-Christmas party with artichoke ‘horsy doevres’ at Joy’s expense.

To make up numbers Jeremy doesn’t invite his partner Rob as Rob suspects Jeremy of having an affair. Jeremy brings a platonic friend. Slade’s ‘Everybody’s Having Fun’ opens on Joy appearing to have labour pains, Sunday frequenting the loo and Jeremy introducing ‘Woman’ as his platonic friend. Woman confronts Justin demanding maintenance for her unborn child, Joy slaps Justin, Woman tells Ollie she will sue him for stalking and Jeremy confronts their irresponsibilities Kyle-Style when Sunday confesses that she too is pregnant.

Justin has suspected indigestion as a result of the artichokes. When paramedics arrive they say this is a heart attack. The audience must decide Justin’s fate whilst the characters wish they can go back and change the script.


(4m, 4f) (all late 20s to early 30s)

  • Woman or ‘The Other Woman’ - fashion consultant, boutique owner, femme fatale, love addict, catch phrase is ‘this isn’t all about you. What about me …?’
  • Ollie - an out of work actor with angst, insomnia and an overdraft, catch phrase is ‘to be fair’ and he isn’t
  • Sunday - Ollie’s wife, house cleaning practitioner, catch phrase is ‘d’you know what I mean?’
  • Justin -‘does something in the city’ probably consultancy, forced to shell out money like peas, alcohol and nicotine abuser, catch phrase is ‘clearly’ and ‘credit crunch’
  • Joy - Justin’s very pregnant housewife, catch phrase is ‘no worries’
  • Jeremy - organic vegetable box salesman, kitchen mentoring consultant, catch phrase is anything French
  • Trained paramedic
  • Paramedic

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