Synopsis

Archie Gascoyne Williams is a man on a mission. He comes from a long, illustrious (and very wealthy) family: that of the Gascoynes, through his mother. But she was disowned by the family because she married beneath her rank by marrying a travelling salesman in ladies underwear. Nevertheless, as Archie discovers, by the laws of heredity, he is in line to inherit the title of Earl Gascoyne, and thus the family fortunes, should the intervening Gascoynes die.

He decides to set about working his way up the family tree until he inherits that Gascoyne fortune by the simple expedient of murdering those members of the family that are in his way.  And, besides having his eyes set on the Gascoyne title, he also has his eye on Sibella –the extrovert, sexy sister of Archie’s best friend Grahame Hallward, as well as Edith Gascoyne, and a nursery maid. Life’s never simple, is it?

This black comedy is adapted from the original novel by Roy Horniman, on which the classic 1949 Ealing comedy was based (which, incidentally, came 6th in the BFI list of ‘Best British Films Of The 20th Century’). The play requires strong, versatile, performances by the leads, but also has several interesting comic and cameo roles for other actors. The play doesn’t require scenery as such, but swift changes of furniture and props are essential. Part of the fun of the piece is that the audience will be aware of the doubling up of the main parts, but many minor parts can be played by different members of the cast. 

Characters

6m, 3f  (with doubling)

• Archibald Gascoyne Williams (Archie) - conceited, selfish, murderous young man capable of also being likeable and charming. Playing age from 12 to 30s

The Women In Archie’s Life (All three played by the same actor)

• Sibella Hallward - Grahame’s sister. flamboyant, blonde, sexy, selfish, only really interested in money. Her clothes reflect this, being very fashionable and extravert. Playing age from 12 to 30s
• Edith Gascoyne - looks like Sibella but with auburn hair, wears simple, stylish, but not overly fashionable clothes. Playing age: 30s
• Esther Lane - also looks like Sibella but has her hair up in a bun and wears a nursery maids outfit: a black dress with white apron. Playing age: 30s

The Men In Archie’s Life

• Grahame Hallward - Archie’s friend, faithful, friendly, helpful, all round jolly good chap. Playing age from 12 to 30s
• Lionel Holland – the not very bright, but rich, boyfriend of Sibella, dresses smartly. Playing age: 17 to 30s

The Gascoynes Murdered By Archie (All are played by the same actor)

• Gascoyne Gascoyne Junior (Gascoyne Jnr) - has a spivvy moustache and wears a smart suit or a smart overcoat and hat
• Gascoyne Gascoyne Senior (Gascoyne Snr) – wears a pin-striped suit, smart, businesslike, glasses perhaps
• Harry Gascoyne - perhaps country tweed or jodhpurs, drunk a lot of the time
• Wilfred Gascoyne - has a beard and an extravagant dressing gown or similar
• Reverend Henry Gascoyne – wears a long black robe with white clerical collar, or a dark suit with black tabard and white clerical collar, has a sing-song voice
• Earl Gascoyne - wears glasses and something fairly flamboyant that exudes wealth, very plummy voice.

Other Female Parts

• Kate Falconer - flighty, long hair, fifties A-Line dress, circle skirt spotted
• Female Multi-role Actor
  • Hammerton Guide - smartly dressed
  • Governor (of Prison)
  • Police Inspector
  • Waitress - black dress, white apron, and head band, short hair

Other Male Parts

• Male Multi-role Actor 1
  • Gorby - a butler
  • Blacksmith
  • Man 1 - wears brown overalls/dustcoat
  • Policeman 1
• Male Multi-role Actor 2
  • Ned - the Blacksmith’s assistant
  • Landlord - jolly, wears a suit
  • Man 2 - wears brown overalls/dustcoat
  • Policeman 2
  • Waiter