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Thicker Than Water

    by Ron Nicol


Black Comedy Play: 'Thicker Than Water' by Ron Nicol

Most of the action can be played on a bare stage, with simple items of furniture introduced to represent various locations.

Mrs Prince begins as the narrator of the story, describing how everything began when she made her son, Harold, a vampire cloak for his birthday. Harold was captivated, and bit a girl at his birthday party, with a furious reaction from the girl’s mother. The experience made Harold decide on a career as a vampire, and his reign as the self-styled Prince of Darkness began.

A Reporter takes up the story as Harold starts to attack and bite not only other children, but his adult neighbours. As Harold grows older, he and his mother encounter a succession of angry teachers - including a pair of drama teachers who mistakenly cast Harold as Dracula in the school play, to the anguish of poor Barbara who has been cast as his victim - and Harold is forced to change schools several times.

As he grows older, his fumbling attempts at seducing Penelope, Valerie and Maureen lead to their disappearance. As DI Gillespie and DS Barnes lead the investigation, Harold takes up a new career.  His involvement with the police and his attack on Gillespie eventually result in Harold’s downfall, and lead to his inevitable destruction in the traditional vampire manner – a stake through the heart.


35-40 mins approx


(2m, 8f, 8m/f but can be played by 2m 4f with doubling and trebling)

  • Harold - a young man; ages from 12 to 20+
  • Mrs Prince - his mother; 40+ but could be almost any age
  • Reporter - male/female, any age
  • Sally’s Mum - young woman
  • Irate Man - any age
  • Irate Woman - any age
  • Head Teacher - male/female, any age
  • Second Head Teacher - male/female, any age
  • Head Teacher - male/female, any age
  • Barbara – teenage schoolgirl
  • Drama Teacher 1 - male/female, any age
  • Drama Teacher 2 - male/female, any age
  • Penelope - 20+, prim and proper
  • Valerie - 20/30’s
  • Maureen - 20/30’s
  • Pathologist - male/female, any age
  • Detective Inspector Gillespie - female, any age
  • Detective Sergeant Barnes - male/female, any age
Many characters can be male or female with a range of ages. With multiple casting and some ingenuity, it’s possible for the 18 speaking characters (nominally 2m, 8f, 8m/f) to be played by a company of 2 males and 4 females, although any number of performers may be used.

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