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Beggar Your Neighbour

    by Ron Nicol


Comedy Play Script: 'Beggar Your Neighbour' by Ron NicolA living room is the common setting for neighbours Mrs Lightfoot and Mrs Freebody – not the usual split stage, but the identical set used by both characters as their own home.

It seems that Mrs Freebody has copied every detail of Mrs Lightfoot’s living room - or has she? When experienced Constable Boulter calls, there seems to be some doubt about who has copied whom. Then Mrs Lightfoot reports the disappearance of her husband George. Again it seems that Mrs Freebody is involved - or is she?

Boulter investigates, together with young and inexperienced Constable Cadbury. Having unsuccessfully searched Mrs Freebody’s house, Boulter suspects that George must have run off with Freebody voluntarily, despite Mrs Lightfoot’s claim that such a thing would be impossible. Without a body – and without any evidence to back up Mrs Lightfoot’s claim – further investigation seems unwarranted. Then Mrs Lightfoot reports the disappearance of her twelve children, and yet again it seems that Mrs Freebody might be responsible - or is she?

This time Boulter and Cadbury find a clue in Freebody’s house – a recently-used spade. Mrs Freebody tries to escape, but is unable to get away and finally confesses to having snatched George and the twelve children. Boulter is about to arrest her for kidnapping, body snatching and mass murder when the truth is revealed.


45 mins approx



  • Mrs Lightfoot – a motherly woman, perhaps in her sixties
  • Constable Boulter - an experienced and long-serving police officer, perhaps forty or thereabouts
  • Mrs Freebody - a loud and aggressive woman, perhaps in her forties or fifties
  • Constable Cadbury - an eager but very inexperienced young police officer

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