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Nearly Up The Pole

    by Ron Nicol



Synopsis

Comedy Play Script: 'Nearly Up The Pole' by Ron Nicol

A decrepit Narrator introduces the story and appears at various times to link the scenes.

Henry and Mortimer decide they need an adventure, and when Henry’s long-suffering wife Henrietta demands details they tell her they’re proposing an expedition to the North or South Pole. Henrietta later tells her daughter Aurora that she’d prefer a flagpole in the garden.

Henry and Mortimer realise that they’re committed to undertake an excursion to one of the Poles and contact expedition expediter Jules Goudeau, who reveals that she’s really Jessie Boggs. Goudeau introduces husky dog Rowff, who takes an immediate liking to Mortimer, and they set off. Henrietta and Aurora decide to disguise themselves and follow Henry.

Henry, Mortimer, Goudeau and Rowff travel through a blizzard, eventually encountering a pair of Eskimos – who are really Henrietta and Aurora in disguise. They tell Henry to keep travelling onward and beware of the Yeti. Mortimer feels ill and begs Henry to leave him, hoping to follow the Leeveme tradition of suffering and being left to die, listing the experiences of several of his ancestors. He recovers remarkably quickly when Henry threatens to eat him if they run out of provisions. Then Rowff discovers a pole, which he brings to Henry who declares that it must be the North Pole.

Henrietta and Aurora appear and inform Henry that he, Mortimer and Goudeau have been wandering round Henry’s own garden for a week, and that what Rowff has found is actually Henrietta’s new flagpole.

Duration

35-40 mins approx

Characters

(2m, 3f, 2m/f)

  • The Narrator (m/f)
  • Sir Henry Nearly - the intrepid explorer
  • Mortimer Leeveme - the intrepid twit with the incredibly annoying braying laugh
  • Lady Henrietta - Sir Henry’s indomitably domineering wife
  • Aurora - Sir Henry’s incredibly irksome daughter
  • Jules Goudeau - an expedition expediter
  • Rowff - a Husky
  • Voice Off


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