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The Inaccurate Conception

    by Geoff Saunders & Richard Ahsam



Synopsis

Comedy Play Script: 'The Inaccurate Conception' by Saunders & Ahsem

A raucous and often slightly surreal celebration of everyone’s first brush with the theatre – the school Nativity play.

Celia Whibley is a young teacher directing class 3C of Verruca Street Primary School in a Nativity play and though the children are unprepossessing and uncooperative, they are the least of Celia’s troubles – her real obstacle is the unhelpful staff, who have been encouraged not to help her by two older teachers who always used to be asked to produce the play and are exacting their revenge. Battling against the odds is a ‘learning experience’ for poor Celia. Will the struggle have been worth it?

Comedy Play Script: 'The Inaccurate Conception' by Saunders & Ahsem

Among the vivid adult characters in the play are: Octavia, the headmistress, whose keenness to develop Celia as a teacher blinds her to the machinations of the other staff; Miss Belcher and Miss Cusp, the ‘baddies’, and the hapless Celia herself, who narrates the story as she tries to shape the Nativity into a show worth watching. 

Among the children we meet Jessica, precocious stage school starlet; Dougal, child genius and walking thesaurus and Shane, would-be ‘bad boy’ with a heart of gold. Seven-year-olds, teachers and parents alike are played by adults in this energetic and warm-hearted comedy.

Characters

(min 2m, 4f or max 8m, 12f)

Staff of Verruca Street Primary School

  • Celia Whibley - early 20's
  • Octavia Dutton-Griggs - headmistress
  • Miss Belcher
  • Miss Cusp
  • Kurt Elginbrod
  • Mr Miller

Children (all played as age 7)

  • Jessica
  • Michelle
  • Justine
  • Melanie
  • Siobhan
  • Dougal
  • Craig
  • Shane
  • Spencer

Parents

  • Melindra - Jessica's mother
  • Dougal's Mum
  • Spencer's Mum
  • Bob - Shane's Dad
  • Spencer's Dad

The play can be cast one-person-to-a-part, in which case the casting is 8m, 12f, but it is more fun to double the parts, even if this means, in some of the scenes with the children, that actors have to change characters mid-scene. The smallest cast possible is 2m, 4f, in which case the following casting is suggested:

  • Actress 1 - Celia Whibley
  • Actress 2 - Octavia Dutton-Griggs, Justine, Melanie, Dougal's Mum
  • Actress 3 - Miss Belcher, Melindra, Michelle
  • Actress 4 - Miss Cusp, Jessica, Siobhan, Spencer's Mum
  • Actor l - Shane, Kurt, Spencer
  • Actor 2 - Mr Miller, Bob, Dougal, Craig, Spencer's Dad


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