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The Pink Pearl

    by Bruno Lacroix


Comedy Play Script: 'The Pink Pearl' by Bruno LacroixTony is a cat-loving vegetarian and has dreamed about opening a vegetarian restaurant for a long time. He finally agrees with owner Bert to rent his closed restaurant… and just in time too, because he's already invited Lisa Chan, the noted international food critic to inspect and dine in his new veggie restaurant in three days time with a view to winning the coveted 'Golden Tofu' plaque.

Victor arrives to help Tony get the place ready for its opening night and meets Sacha, the long-standing tenant in the flat above the restaurant. She is a lady of French descent who is vibrant and energetic, despite being in her 70s. She regales Victor with tales of her rural upbringing and how as children they were scared of the ‘bogeyman’ who made adults scream, but was nothing more than an osteopath who visited farms to re-set dislocated joints.

Lisa arrives two days early to inspect the restaurant, which is clearly nowhere near ready. Trying to instil confidence in her, Victor comes up with a minimalist ‘concept’ for the restaurant, and inspired by Sacha’s stories the place is transformed into a hunting lodge with stags heads and bizarre animal print drapes. Bert is pressed into service as a waiter and Victor persuades him to also act out the part of the mysterious bogeyman to add a bit of ‘local colour’.

Disaster looms when the meat balls that Sacha made from scraps for Tony’s cats are mistakenly given to Lisa as her main course. Assuming it to be a vegetarian meatball dish, Lisa decides she likes it! “What is it?” she asks. Tony and Victor splutter and cough until Victor, seeing the stags head on the wall confides that they’re ‘stagballs’ made solely from organic material that wild deers eat. Lisa buys into this and fame beckons for Tony and Victor, but only if they carry on serving meat to vegetarians. They decide though to recreate the dish using non-meat ingredients… but don't tell Lisa!

Time passes, and with their newly received Golden Tofu plaque, the restaurant becomes a huge success with the public and celebrities alike all clamouring for reservations, but what would happen if Lisa were to come back for another meal of stagballs?


90-100 mins approx (exc interval)


(3m, 2f)

  • Bert - 35-50, owner of the building, a Jack of all trades, separated and solitary, simple and helpful
  • Tony - 40-55, single, a vegetarian, loves animals, has a phobia about germs and bacteria
  • Sasha - 76, does not look her age, very cheerful, lively, and straightforward. Despite her tyrannical look, she treats everyone like gold, and lives her life with passion. She is looking for the son she never had. French ancestry
  • Victor - 40-55, single and unemployed, Tony’s best friend, resourceful, funny, smart, curious and direct
  • Lisa - 30-55, famous Asian food critic, speaks with a strong accent, has difficulty pronouncing her ‘r’s, always wears big sunglasses and accessories

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