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Catching The Earlier Bus

    by David Morrison


Comedy Play Script: 'Catching The Earlier Bus' by David Morrison

Judy returns from holiday to her job as receptionist in a vet’s practice, to find things much changed while she has been away. One of the partners has been hospitalised with appendicitis, and Mr Skarowitz, a locum from eastern Europe, appointed to fill in.

He has re-trained to become a vet, and it is probably best not to ask what his original job was. His methods are unorthodox, as is his equipment which includes items from a DIY store, a joke shop, various kitchen appliances, a sewing machine and even something from the local zoo! Although he speaks good English, his understanding of it is entirely literal. He has no comprehension of the nuances, phraseology and euphemisms which litter the language as we know it. 

Consequently, there are series of misunderstandings with patients, some of which have unexpected outcomes, none more so than with Miss Fylde’s rabbit. Oh, and Mrs Kent’s dog. Or rather the dog belonging to her late husband, who met with a tragic accident while doing his job as a window cleaner on an aircraft carrier. 

Despite the mayhem going on about them, nothing stops Judy and her colleague, Sally, from discussing all the lurid details of the holiday fling Judy and her friend Katy had, with a couple of local boys they met whilst in Greece – or should that be Spain? A fling which turns out to have unexpected consequences. Then there are the appearances of Major Uttley-Barking, who, he begins by saying, ’has got this big bird in a bit of trouble‘. The Major certainly never has the slightest problem living up to his name. He and his friends are busy desperately hatching plans to escape the incarceration of their POW camp, whilst he himself also has the means of being able to keep unwanted elephants away.


(4m, 6f)

  • Sally - 35, attractive
  • Judy - 30, attractive, less intelligent than Sally, has a holiday tan
  • Mr Skarowitz - 50s, swarthy, heavy-set, bushy, beetling eyebrows, strong accent
  • Ms Tweedy - 30+, pale, slim, nervous disposition, dresses plainly verging on dowdy
  • The Major - 55+, upright, smartly dressed, every inch the old soldier
  • Mr Letwin - late 30s, a typical family man
  • Mrs Dixon - 50s, in all other respects the complete opposite of Ms Tweedy
  • Miss Fylde - 45+, average in all respects
  • Mr Harris - 25-30, pronounced Welsh accent, looks and acts like a train-spotter, single
  • Mrs Kent - 40-50, a Navy wife

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