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The Offending Biscuit

    by Roger Manktelow


       

Customers in Australia and New Zealand should contact David Spicer Productions

Comedy Play Script: 'The Offending Biscuit' by Roger ManktelowSynopsis

Lipton, is on a mission to save her planet ‘Rich-Tea’ (pronounced the same as the eponymous biscuit) from disaster, she needs Diamonds, Bottomly’s Diamonds biscuits that is, and plenty of them! This however is easier said than done, unfortunately for her the Diamond is the worst biscuit in the world and has caused the demise of Bottomly’s biscuit empire!

The company is about to be taken over by the ‘Other Biscuit Company’, which intends to eliminate all competition and close Bottomly’s down completely. Unfortunately for Lipton they have refused all overtures from her and will only deal with Gerald Bottomly, so she needs to revive the fortunes of the Bottomly family in order to get production going again. She needs to use all her considerable talents of invisibility and impersonation to achieve this but encounters all too many problems on the way.

Gerald Bottomly, has sworn never to have anything to do with the Diamond again. But finally it has got all too much for him, he has given up all hope of ever regaining his fortune and has taken to the bottle. His wife Esmee is trying to keep things afloat, using what’s left of her legacy she tries to keep up appearances and is in the process of renovating the drawing room.

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But someone has been helping them keep their heads above water and she erroneously believes that Hector, their son, has been supporting them, only to discover that he is in serious debt to a moneylender, Perrigrew, who is threatening him with serious harm! But if it isn’t Hector who has been paying all the bills who has? And why has the long dead Aunt Wilhelmina started haunting the family? Oiler, a handyman and Mildred their maid, get caught up in all the goings-on, and with each other, and help to resolve the mystery and to satisfy Lipton’s needs.



Duration

110 mins approx

Characters

(3m, 3f)

  • Gerald Bottomly - mid 50s
  • Esmee Bottomly - mid 50s, Gerald's wife
  • Hector Bottomly - mid 20s, their son
  • Lipton - indeterminate age, an alien from the Planet Rich-Tea (f)
  • Oiler - mid 20s, a handyman
  • Mildred - mid 20s, the maid
Lipton impersonates the characters of:
  • Hector Bottomly
  • Perrigrew - a creditor
  • Aunt Wilhelmina - a ghost
       

Customers in Australia and New Zealand should contact David Spicer Productions

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