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Welcome To The NHS

    by David Challenger


Comedy Play Script: 'Welcome To The NHS' by David Challenger

Marje and her best friend Pam, both widows, wait every Monday to see the doctor. Neither of them is really ill but they are both lonely and they can gossip at was has become their weekly social club. 

Jack is there as usual to get signed off, his excuse for not working, a "bad back". He is too busy with his other “little jobs” to have time for working honestly, but doesn’t see anything wrong in living off the state. 

Dennis, an upstanding ex – civil servant, turns up with a genuine, embarrassing ailment and is desperate to see the doctor who has been unavoidably held up.  Dennis is eager to move up the queue and tries all kinds of tricks to achieve his aim. Pam and Marje resent his intrusion into their get together and Jack resents the insinuations that are levelled at him.

With no sign of the doctor arriving they hatch a hair brained plan to get some urgent medical attention, which involves Pam pretending to have a heart attack. The plan goes wrong when she collapses and they suspect that she really has had a heart attack. 

Jane, a nurse who has her own private reason for seeing the doctor steps in to save Pam. 

Enter Angela a neurotic wife whose husband has run off with a younger woman. She is totally neurotic and decides to use Dennis to bolster her confidence, much to his embarrassment and Jane’s anger.

Amid all the mayhem, Dennis eventually despairs of the NHS and gives up waiting; Jack decides it’s more important to get to the bookies. The doctor eventually turns up and Jane reveals that he is the father of her unborn child giving Pam and Marje enough gossip for months.


(3m, 4f)

  • Pam - 60s
  • Jack - 50s
  • Dennis - 60s
  • Marje - 60s
  • Jane - 30s
  • Angela - late 40s
  • Doctor - early 30s

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