One Act Comedy Plays (3)

Comedy (Q-Z)

	Recital by Christopher Owen (3m, 2f) 40-45 mins ‘Temperamental’ Gillian is a concert platform singer. ‘Boring’ Trevor is her pianist and they’re on yet another tour. They have a concert to give tonight, but Gillian has a sore throat and Trevor has broken his wrist. In her hotel room, they desperately try to find another pianist but no one appears to be available. By the end of their quest, Trevor has done his back in and can’t stand up straight, and Gillian can’t speak. Disaster looms!

	Ring Ring by Geoff Saunders (2m, 2f) 50 mins Tom and Liz, both fifty something, meet at a party. They attempt to make phone contact to arrange a date but end up playing 'answerphone tennis', when they are not getting wrong numbers or talking to the wrong people. Their friends Kav and Dot help them - and hinder them - on their way to a happy conclusion.

	RIP Mr Shakespeare by Bev Clark & Keith Hill (5m, 2f, 1m/f) 50 mins A one-act comedy homage to Shakespeare in a stylistic piece of energetic clown theatre. It is William Shakepeare's last night but he is haunted by dreams, which soon turn into nightmares. His disgruntled servant has re-written the plays and it all becomes a comedy of errors. ‘RIP Mr Shakespeare’ is physical ensemble theatre for all ages, allowing performers to discover Shakespeare in a fun way. Winner of 7 awards at the All England Theatre and National Drama Festivals 2016.

	Roy Brown: Bard Of Margate by Derek Webb (2m, 2f) 60mins Roy’s back with his own inimitable take on Shakespeare. Roy decides to help out his mate Kev by producing Macbeth for Kev’s newly launched pub theatre: at the Shakespeare’s Head in Margate. But this is no ordinary Macbeth. According to Roy, his version is not only better than the original, but he’s cut out ‘all the boring stuff’ and made it a lot sharper and much, much shorter, and with a lot more jokes. Characteristically, he describes his latest play in one word: Awesome.

	Roy Brown: Bringing Back The Bluestones by Derek Webb (3m, 2f) 45 mins approx If Scotland can get back the Stone of Destiny and Greece wants the Elgin marbles returned, why shouldn’t Wales reclaim the Stonehenge bluestones? This is a comedy about the nature of bandwagons and our attitude to heritage, and how quickly a nation's imagination can be captured by what is in essence a ridiculous idea.

	Roy Brown: Untitled by Derek Webb (2m, 2f) 50 min version Roy Brown is a man always on the lookout for an easy way to make a living. And modern art looks just the ticket... Seeing how much money there is to be made, and seeing how easy it looks to him, Roy reckons turning out a few pieces himself will be rather a doddle. Needless to say, encouraged by his friend Jane (and ably hindered by his mate Rhys) things don't quite go to plan.

	Roy Brown And The Red Baron by Derek Webb (2m, 2f) 50 mins Roy Brown is a man on a mission: to make as much money as possible with the minimum effort. So, when his friend, Jane, enthuses him to research his family history, he discovers something of mind-boggling importance (to him, at least). It turns out that the WW1 flying ace who shot down the Red Baron was none other than Captain Roy Brown! And who else could this be but Roy's great, great uncle? Armed with this information Roy sees a future of fame and fortune stretching ahead of him... maybe.

	Rude Awakenings by Nicolas Ridley (4f) 45 mins Everything normally runs so smoothly at the Little Gissing Art Group’s ‘Annual Exhibition and Competition’ in the village hall, but this year it’s all going wrong. There are mishaps, misunderstandings, all sorts of complications and some really very shocking revelations! ‘Rude Awakenings’ is a comedy – with a tear or two – that revolves around the loves, lives and losses of four very different women. “A perfect piece ... captivating, funny and really quite moving.”

	Scoundrels And Stratagems by Ron Nicol (4m, 5f) 50 mins (approx) Lady Pinchbeck plans to acquire Charity’s inheritance, with the doubtful help of Gosling. Squire Buzzard wants to win the hand of Prudence, but she’s in love with Gerald, so Buzzard plots to discredit his rival. Lamprey has schemes of her own. Sergeant Quickly and Constable Muggins become involved when Charity disappears and suspicion falls on Gerald. After a great deal of confusion and a lot of hilarity, Prudence takes a hand and everything is resolved.

	Sharks In The Custard by Tony Layton (4f, 3m/f) 45 mins Prize Winner The cleaning ladies in the municipal art gallery enjoy their work, but rumours of government cut backs threaten to upset their cosy regime. In the face of adversity they come up with a solution that not only secures their futures and helps to save the gallery, but also ensures that their lives will never be quite the same again.

	Sherlock Holmes And The Poison Pen Letter by Simon Rayner Davis (3m, 2f) 35-40 mins (approx) Holmes and Watson discover a dead body on their chaise longue. A distressed actress Sarah Moaney bursts in to suggest it is her thumbless uncle, Justice Fingers. But is it just an act, or part of Moriarty's fiendish plot to eliminate the Great Detective? The play proceeds at breakneck speed via outrageous puns and plot twists to a denouement - of sorts that will leave you baffled, but hugely entertained.

	Simon Cowell Is Coming To Tea by Christopher Owen (3m, 2f) 45 mins A comedy satirising and having fun with the celebrity culture today and with greed in the ascendant. John’s business has gone bust. His wife Cynthia is distraught. Their daughter Felicity is to be married in two weeks’ time to the Bennets, a wealthy family who are inviting celebrities Simon Cowell and George Clooney to the wedding. Their son Roger is being pursued for an outstanding debt. Mistaken identities! Pandemonium!

	Singles Night by Jill Woods (2m, 2f) Four monologues in a collection - two for male actors and two for female actors.

	Sinking by Les Clarke (2m, 1f) 45 mins Multi award winning play, set in Jessica and Paulie’s lounge. Jessica is trying to tidy the house before the man from the benefits office comes. She fears that if she doesn’t do everything right, their benefits will be cut off, and Paulie isn’t the most helpful person when it comes to giving a hand!

	Slap And Tickle At The Pig And Whistle by John Bartlett (5m, 3f) 60mins A story concerning the misappropriation of private love letters belonging to Isabella and Lelio and the debauched selfish interest of Pulcinella, the publican of 'The Pig and Whistle'. The crazy antics of Arlecchino, Colombina's quick thinking paramour and the thwarted, elicit love affair between Isabella and Lelio, all add up to a rollicking, uproarious comedy that crashes like a comic avalanche to it's ultimate conclusion.

	Soap Soup by Tony Layton (4m, 3f) 50 mins A surreal comedy about Sammy, a scriptwriter who writes a TV soap, and becomes too involved with his characters. They attempt to influence the development of his weekly storyline, and when the script editor decides to kill off a few characters, Sammy and the characters in his head, take to the bottle in distress. Eventually, Hollywood beckons, with all the usual attractions of wife, kids and personal trainer, but will it be short lived?

	Something To Hide by Bryan Darby (1m, 5f) approx 60 mins In this comedy of preconceptions (which is ideal for Ladies’ Drama Groups) Avis has that feeling that something about Peggy is just not quite right. She raises the subject with Phyllida, the Manager of the charity shop where she works, and it appears that she, also, feels that Peggy does not ‘fit in’. Of course, it isn’t just a matter of class. This is, after all, a charity shop and charity begins... But, something just has to be done when they find hard evidence to support their suspicions. That’s when the police become involved and their cosy world of Earl Grey and Vienna Whirls is never likely to be the same again. But then, we all have something to hide. Don’t we?

	S.P.A.C.E. by Bev Clark (2f) approx 45 mins Crazy is a woman lost in chaos trying to de-clutter her house and de-clutter her mind, but she is beset with regret, guilt and remorse. Her other half, Sanity tries to help but she can be rather bossy and uncaring. Can these two women come together in harmony? How do they deal with the trauma and pain of the past? Can they ever fill the boxes with all the rubbish that is stifling Crazy’s attempt to find some space? Can they find a way to support each other and face the unknown future?

	Stay'd For by L J McTuggle (3m, 1f) 50 mins Prize Winner Are occupational skills and religious beliefs any use when an emergency occurs? A teacher, an unpublished writer, a telecoms salesman and a dental clerk journey from Uxbridge to help a relative in Malaysia move his luxury yacht. It’s a comedy but not a farce: it asks relevant questions of our four protagonists who, for once in their lives, have truly strayed outside their comfort zones.

	Stitched Up by Robin Johnson (4m, 1f or 3m, 1f with doubling) 60 mins Victor Frankenstein is recovering after his mental breakdown following the creation of his monster and with the benefit of hindsight, he sees that he was definitely stitched up. This comic take on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein presents the young doctor considering his actions, pointing out plot holes in the original text and expressing disgust for the multiple films that followed the initial tale.

	Thank You For Protesting by Paul Adam Levy (1m, 3f) 25 mins When a local government worker is tasked with replacing 'a thing’ on a street with another ‘thing', a resident sets out on what she thinks is the simple task of stopping him. What the unprepared resident discovers is a complex set of rules on protesting and housing policy. A high-tempo comedy on the subject of a citizen's right to protest and the cost of housing.

	The 19th Hole by Tony Layton (4m, 5f) 50 mins In the modest club house of a quiet country golf club, one of the members, Freddie, has a problem which is putting him off his game. His wife, Muriel, appears to have run away unexpectedly leaving him to cope with the embarrassment of it all with his fellow golfers. Eventually, Muriel turns up and what she reveals shakes the club to the core. Things will never be quite the same again.

	The Fool At Yule by Nick Wilkes (2m) 60 mins After a lifetime of holding services, administering to the parish and guiding his flock, Reverend Adam Weaver has had a spiritual crisis and simply lost his faith. With the festive season fast approaching, and a determination to avoid all things Christmas, he has vehemently decided to celebrate the season of Yuletide instead - and woe-betide anyone who confuses their festive celebrations.

	The Interview by Jane France (1m, 1f) 50 mins Elderly, infirm and somewhat eccentric; Agnes Braithwaite is about to be interviewed for a local radio show. Local radio presenter Gerry Mortimer is excited to meet Agnes as he is certain that he is on cue for national recognition and acclaim if he can just manage to acquire that one special interview. He is hoping that today might just be that day... It isn’t.

	The Ladybirds by Tony Layton (9f) 45 mins Prize Winner The village drama group has lost all their men. The future looks bleak until a bright, young director agrees to help them out. The suggested solution at first shocks the straight-laced villagers, but then becomes the vehicle which gets the cash flowing back into the groups desperate bank account. (Has a sequel in 'The Ladybirds: Francesca Returns' below).

	The Ladybirds: Francesca Returns by Tony Layton (8f) 50 mins (Sequel to 'The Ladybirds' above but can be played on its own) Once again the all female cast do not have men to enhance their drama group, so finding a suitable play for the coming season is, once again, a headache. But then, along comes Francesca, a professional director, who brought them success the previous year. Not only does she provide a challenging play with an all female cast but promises to take it (and them) to the Edinburgh festival. However, there are certain elements in the quiet backwater of Plumpton that will not make life easy for this adventurous group of ladies.

	The Lord Mayor Requests by Ron Hutson (4m, 2f) 50 mins Bill and Charles share a bachelor flat. Jenny is Dennis` boyfriend and Samantha is Bills'. When Charles receives an invitation to a civic dinner with the mayor, he decides to take Jenny with him as his +1. This leaves Bill at home. However, the invite is a scam to get them both out of the house so it can be burgled. When two men arrive and find Bill still there it leads to much misunderstanding and possible danger for Bill who is naïve, to say the least, about their visit.

	The Spy Who Came In For The Phone by Alan Richardson (3m, 3f or 2m, 4f) 45 mins It's the swinging sixties. Newly-weds Chris and Sally Taylor are in the process of moving into their new flat in London. Ron, a telephone engineer with a passion for paperwork is installing a new telephone, but the Taylors hadn't ordered a new phone, and once the phone is connected and they start getting some very strange calls, they soon wish they didn't have this one. They encounter a glamorous spy, not to mention calls from Dracula, John Wayne and a yellow zebra, and their ordinary day becomes crazier by the minute. An absurd play guaranteed to please everybody who hates filling out forms.

	The Village Hall by John Bartlett (9m, 8f) Four 30 min linked one-act plays (or play 2, 3 or 4 in combination) That hallowed institution - the Village Hall, scene of unparalleled local country dramas is the setting for these four comedy plays. Each play stands up in its own right, but the quartet could be played together in many combinations. Each play features one or two main characters and their particular use of the Hall, a Jumble Sale, the Amateur Dramatics group, the scout's Gang Show and the Wedding Reception.

	The Worst Day Of My Life by Alan Richardson (1m, 4f) 45 mins Charlie Brown's day in hospital begins very well. His devoted wife is at his bedside; a scene of conjugal bliss, that is until another female visitor arrives. When she reveals that she is also Mrs Brown, Charlie's got some explaining to do. As his previously secret life is hilariously disentangled, a third female visitor arrives, also claiming to be Mrs Brown. You'd think Charlie's day couldn't get much worse - but it does.

	Three's A Crowd by Ron Nicol (1m, 3f) 50 mins Tim has brought Tania to the pub to propose to her, but despite his best efforts Tania is more interested in texting her best friend Tilly than in listening to him. Waitress Tamara takes pity on Tim, decides to take a hand, and things come to a head. A turning point is reached when Tilly arrives, Tim takes a stand, Tania storms out – and Tamara takes charge.

	Time For Ben by Tony Layton (3m, 3f) 50 mins A highly unusual play in that the title role has no words to speak. Ben is a disabled teenager, severely handicapped and wheelchair-bound, having his eighteenth birthday complete with visiting relatives. Mark, Ben's father gets annoyed with Ben's uncle who doesn't appreciate both the sacrifices Mark has made, nor Ben's sense of humour which shines out like a beacon through the family quarrels.

	Titus Returns by Nicolas Ridley (2m, 1f) 35 mins When after 20 years of marriage, Rob leaves Jen for a younger woman, it’s painful but reasonably civilised. The problem is Titus, the cat they both adore, who seems to have gone walkabout. Luckily their old friend, Ian, brings Titus home and all is well. Or is it? They say that when one door closes, another door opens, but this isn’t always true. What follows becomes horribly complicated. Finally, it’s obvious that everything depends on Titus.

	Too Many Brides For Dracula by Ron Nicol (3m, 7f, 1m/f) 50 mins approx Loosely based on Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’. Jonathan visits Transylvania to meet Count Dracula and returns a changed man. He marries Mina, but when Dracula also arrives in England, Mina’s best friend Lucy mysteriously becomes ill. Doctor van Helsing is sent for, and suspects that Dracula has caused Lucy’s illness. She determines to track the Count to his lair, and after much confusion – and a great deal of hilarity - Dracula is defeated.

	Turkish Delight by Colin Barrow (2f) 20 mins approx Jess is homeless and lives in the park. Today, like all other days, she roams around and selects a bench to occupy until the urge comes to move to another. Having chosen her bench, Alice, a lady who’s jogging and trying to lose weight, enters, and is needing a rest. The two strike up a conversation, and after a while Alice comes to realise that her life isn't so bad after all.

	Two Bodies And A Bottle Of Sauce by Ron Nicol (2m, 4f, 1m/f) 50 mins Cassiopeia and Bertram are about to start their murder mystery rehearsal when cleaner Molly finds make-believe corpse Anastasia and calls the police. When Inspector Whelping arrives, truth and invention become blurred by misdirection and misunderstandings, while Esmeralda’s intrusion adds further complications. The body disappears, is replaced by another, and then re-appears. A bottle of tomato sauce seems to be a crucial piece of evidence. Whelping eventually leaves, but Bertram has a real murder in mind.

	Untucked by Teresa Hennessy (2m) 45 mins, approx Prize Winner Two drag artistes, Irma Geddon and Dee Light, share a dressing room for the first time. One, an old hand; the other, a newcomer to the profession. Will the old-timer give the benefit of his experience, or jeopardise the fledgling’s first flight into the unknown? A bitter-sweet comedy of trust and jealousy; frocks and frills.

	Vanessa And The Vanguard by Anton Krueger (2m, 1f) 45 mins Finalist The action for this unlikely comedy occurs in the sultry, smoky setting of a private and intensely personal investigation into the whereabouts of a missing person. The client is a remarkably beautiful woman, however, instead of the suave, gravel-voiced detective we may have come to expect, we encounter Orton T. Norton - a frenetic, obsessive, and somewhat eccentric, private eye.

	Visiting Hours by Jane Lockyer Willis (2m, 5f) 25 mins Prize Winner Two patients and one other: a patient or a visitor? And what happened to the goldfish? A funny, touching play.

	Walkies by Jane Lockyer Willis (2m, 1f) 30 mins A heart-warming play on the theme of loneliness... about two people from different backgrounds who meet by chance in the woods.

	Whatever You Want by Ann Gawthorpe & Lesley Bown (2m, 2f) approx 45-50 mins A comedy about two marriages – Margaret and Ray, and Divora and Steve. It’s a light-hearted look at two women friends nearing retirement, who both want more from life than their husbands do. All four eventually live their dreams, but not in the way they expected.

	Where There's A Will by Tony Layton (4m, 3f) approx 45 mins Reading a deceased relative's will is not easy at the best of times, and that's especially true if there are certain clauses in it that have to be met before the money can be distributed. The question is, have the relatives succeeded in meeting the requirements? If they have, was it all above board? Does that matter though, if there are other stipulations to be revealed that upset the apple cart?

	Wild Allegations by David Leon & David K Barnes (3m, 3f) apx 60 mins Theo, a cool seductress, and Alex, a vengeful nobody, conspire to destroy Matthew, a rising star of stage and screen. Why is this, when Theo is Matthew’s girlfriend and Alex is his brother? What could Matthew possibly have done to them both to make them turn on him? Slick, cynical and very funny, an emotionally intricate and wholly engaging dramatic comedy about self-deception and how we perceive those close to us.

	Wolf Tale by Ron Nicol (3m, 4f, 2m/f) apx 40 mins A re-telling of the tale of Red Riding Hood and the Wolf. Wolf tries to turn events to his own advantage, but despite the warnings of his cousin Big Bad nothing turns out the way he expects. Little Red won’t co-operate, Granny’s more troublesome than anticipated, the Fairy’s contrary, a pair of infuriating Sheep complicate proceedings, and the arrival of Robin Hood finally throws a spanner into the works.